I wanted to post this as my Facebook status today, but I realized I wanted a more permanent space for it. I want this to be sort of a mantra for me from now on, and I want to go back to reading it when things get tough.
This is just a random thought that crossed my mind while in the supermarket this afternoon. I'd like to be a little bit profound about it, but if you think it's quite cliche and not exactly a light bulb moment for you, it's fine. My blog, my rules.
Us mothers, we can't be confined to being just one thing. We are always a lot of things to our family, especially to our kids.
As a mom, I realized that am many things. Society likes to classify mothers according to work situations or preferences, so right now, I am a full-time mom, because I stay at home with my kids all day. I still keep a part-time online job, so I guess I'm also a working mom, and I am a proud breastfeeding mom, that is until my youngest turns three (which is in six months).
To my children, I am more than those three things. I am their primary caregiver, I am the one who kisses the boo-boo to make the pain go away. I am their constant frenemy; I am the one who tells them to pack away their toys before their father comes home (and also the one who packs it away when push comes to shove), and the one who sets the timer on the iPad so they know it's time to stop watching videos. I am the first person to greet them every morning, and the last one they want to see before they shut their eyes at night.
Yes, being a mom means that I am many things. But I am not everything. We need to be reminded of that often.
We're used to juggling a lot of things at the same time that at times we feel like we can, or we need to do it all. But there are also things that I am not, or roles that I could not fit into. For starters, I"m not one of those moms who got their post-baby bod back (or even a semblance of it). I'm not a homeschooling mom, even though there was a time I thought we'd be going down that path. I tried, but I didn't get the hang of being a babywearing mom. I'm not an organic mom. I'm not one of those who succeeds almost effortlessly at "tamang kain," and yes, I feed my daughters ice cream and pancit canton on a regular day. I'm not an artsy, crafty mom. There are parts of the day where I let Youtube entertain my girls.
I'm not a doctor, even though sometimes when my kids are sick, I wish that I know all the answers and ways to heal them. I'm not a career woman. As much as I sometimes yearn to satisfy that part of me and have a bigger contribution to our budget, I cannot stand to be away from my kids for a whole day.
I am not a supermom.
But it doesn't mean that I'm not trying to be a better mother. It doesn't mean that I'm not trying to introduce healthy choices to my kids' diet, and limit their screen time as much as I can. It doesn't mean I'm done trying to be a fit mom, a strong mom.
I guess at the end of the day (and I'm being literal as I type this, it's almost midnight and the girls are asleep), we should just learn to celebrate who we are and have a sense of humor about the things that we are not.
We shouldn't be too hard on ourselves, fellow moms. The truth is, our kids don't notice what we lack, because they already think we do so much. So don't spend your time hating and judging other mothers, and yourself. Instead, live for those moments when you feel surrounded by people who love you, and make you feel accomplished and complete.
We don't have to be everything to everybody. But if we just put that extra something (aka love) to what we do every day, for our kids, that will be more than enough.
This is just a random thought that crossed my mind while in the supermarket this afternoon. I'd like to be a little bit profound about it, but if you think it's quite cliche and not exactly a light bulb moment for you, it's fine. My blog, my rules.
Us mothers, we can't be confined to being just one thing. We are always a lot of things to our family, especially to our kids.
As a mom, I realized that am many things. Society likes to classify mothers according to work situations or preferences, so right now, I am a full-time mom, because I stay at home with my kids all day. I still keep a part-time online job, so I guess I'm also a working mom, and I am a proud breastfeeding mom, that is until my youngest turns three (which is in six months).
To my children, I am more than those three things. I am their primary caregiver, I am the one who kisses the boo-boo to make the pain go away. I am their constant frenemy; I am the one who tells them to pack away their toys before their father comes home (and also the one who packs it away when push comes to shove), and the one who sets the timer on the iPad so they know it's time to stop watching videos. I am the first person to greet them every morning, and the last one they want to see before they shut their eyes at night.
Yes, being a mom means that I am many things. But I am not everything. We need to be reminded of that often.
We're used to juggling a lot of things at the same time that at times we feel like we can, or we need to do it all. But there are also things that I am not, or roles that I could not fit into. For starters, I"m not one of those moms who got their post-baby bod back (or even a semblance of it). I'm not a homeschooling mom, even though there was a time I thought we'd be going down that path. I tried, but I didn't get the hang of being a babywearing mom. I'm not an organic mom. I'm not one of those who succeeds almost effortlessly at "tamang kain," and yes, I feed my daughters ice cream and pancit canton on a regular day. I'm not an artsy, crafty mom. There are parts of the day where I let Youtube entertain my girls.
I'm not a doctor, even though sometimes when my kids are sick, I wish that I know all the answers and ways to heal them. I'm not a career woman. As much as I sometimes yearn to satisfy that part of me and have a bigger contribution to our budget, I cannot stand to be away from my kids for a whole day.
I am not a supermom.
But it doesn't mean that I'm not trying to be a better mother. It doesn't mean that I'm not trying to introduce healthy choices to my kids' diet, and limit their screen time as much as I can. It doesn't mean I'm done trying to be a fit mom, a strong mom.
I guess at the end of the day (and I'm being literal as I type this, it's almost midnight and the girls are asleep), we should just learn to celebrate who we are and have a sense of humor about the things that we are not.
We shouldn't be too hard on ourselves, fellow moms. The truth is, our kids don't notice what we lack, because they already think we do so much. So don't spend your time hating and judging other mothers, and yourself. Instead, live for those moments when you feel surrounded by people who love you, and make you feel accomplished and complete.
We don't have to be everything to everybody. But if we just put that extra something (aka love) to what we do every day, for our kids, that will be more than enough.
