About the (Food) Blogger - Part 1

September is my birthday month, and nothing makes a person contemplate life choices better than turning a year older.  So here I am, trying to make up for lost time and doing something a little more special for my birthday.  I'm writing about ME. And not me as a full-time mom to my adorable little girls, which is still my favorite topic and the point of this whole blog, but my next favorite topic, FOOD.

I'm a foodie. I don't know when my love affair with food began; maybe it was when I started embarking on this domesticated phase in my life, or even before that, or maybe I just woke up one day realizing that I love food; making it, devouring it, exploring it, talking (or writing) about it.  How do you know if you're a foodie? Here are some things that confirmed it for me:

• Going on a diet is always a challenge.  Need to state the obvious?  In my path to weight loss, cutting down on food has always been my arch nemesis. I remember crying after the nutritionist told me to avoid chocolates and cream-based pasta because I had gestational diabetes then.
• Most of my money go to food. Some girls spend on clothes, some buy bags or jewelry. For me, it's always been food. Whenever my husband asks me what I want for my birthday or our anniversary, I always say, "Kain na lang tayo sa masarap."
• I get super cranky when I'm hungry. Ask my husband. But he also knows that the quickest way to get on my good side is through my stomach. 
• I always like trying new places to eat. Whether it's the newest it place in town, or those quirky hole in the wall joints, I'm up for it.  Just as long as it looks clean. When I'm visiting a new city or province here or abroad, the first thing I want to find out is "Where is a good place to eat?"

So when my friend told me about Yelp Philippines, I saw that as an opportunity to fulfill my dream of being a food critic. I'm no food expert (yet), but I like to have an avenue where I can write about my good and not so good experiences on places (restaurants) that I've been to. I'm not what you would call an adventurous or sophisticated eater, but I love discovering new and promising places to eat, from the humble village ihaw-ihaw to third wave coffee shops or dessert bars, or anywhere they serve good (cream-based!) pasta. Being a mom, I'm always on the lookout for spots that are family-friendly (since breastfeeding can strike anywhere), and in true kuripot fashion, those that believe in good value for money. 

If you'd like to see some of my reviews, feel free to browse through my Yelp page. Quick disclaimer on my reviews though, I totally suck at food photography.  I need to develop a little more self control and remember to take a decent photo of the dish first before devouring it. You can also find thousands of other reviews about the best spots in Manila from fellow foodies and people who have really been everywhere through Yelp.

I would also love some recommendations for up and coming places to add on my Must Try list, especially those located in the south, because really, life is too short to have a mediocre meal.

The next part of my food blogger post is about my adventures in the kitchen, but for now, let me leave you with some words to chew on:

"People who love to eat are always the best people." - Julia Child

Happy eating!

Enjoying Hong Kong Disneyland with Little kids

*The title specifically said small kids because I would just assume that the experience is different when you're in Disneyland with older kids (7 years old and above). I'm hoping it will be easier, but I don't know for sure.

I dreamed of going to Hong Kong Disneyland when it was built 10 years ago. I've heard a lot about the spectacular fireworks display that brought kids my age to tears. But now that I'm a mom to two little princesses, the dream grew bigger and bigger in my heart that I knew it had to be a reality. My parents were generous enough to treat the whole family to a four-day trip to Hong Kong and a major part of the tour was to bring us kids (yes, myself included) to Disneyland. I'm really super thankful for the opportunity.

As soon as we have established that HK Disneyland was happening, I searched the web for articles about going to Disneyland with a toddler.  I got a lot of useful and practical tips from those, but most of the posts were about Disney World or the Disneyland theme parks in the United States. I found that some of those tips apply, but there are still some additional tips that might be helpful. Also, I've heard some friends and relatives planning to visit the theme park in a few months or later this year, so I'd like to share some of the things I learned based on my experience of bringing kids to this happy place.

• Dress for summer, with a little contingency. 

Hong Kong has a subtropical climate so the days can be pretty humid, but don't disregard any possibility that it might rain. And HK Disneyland is not an indoor park. There's a lot of walking under the sun. One minute we were complaining about how hot and humid it is, the next thing we were cramped in a hotel umbrella waiting for the rain to stop. 

It's best to still dress yourself in light clothing; a shirt, shorts or jeans and walking shoes, and just have a foldable umbrella or a light cardigan with you. Hats are a must-have. If you're breastfeeding a toddler, shawls are the best because it can double as a cover up. And bring an extra shirt. Not just for your child but for you as well. It's going to be quite a long day. 

If you're planning to dress your child in those frilly costumes, I suggest altering their length to one that's summer-friendly. My little girl turned heads in her Princess Aurora full ball gown, but after a few hours, my usually tiis-ganda little darling asked if she can change her dress  into a shirt. Cosplaying is nice, but it's best to make them feel comfortable, especially if you want them to be walking around the park. Her Princess Anna cape was useful though, when it began to rain. (Yes, we brought two costumes with us.)

• Choose to go hands-free.

 My biggest fear in coming to Disneyland was losing my kids inside the theme park, so I made sure that I, or their Tatay or one of our companions is holding their hand as we walk from one attraction to the next. And as the day goes by, the kids will be tired and will ask to be carried. This is why it's best to keep your hands free as much as possible.

During our Disney trip, we opted to ditch the diaper bag and went with a sturdy backpack to carry the essentials. It was even spacious enough to carry our digital camera, when it's not in use and it has side pockets to store our water bottles.

I opted to use our lightweight digital camera instead of our cellphone camera because we can just hang it around our necks instead of reaching in our pockets for our phones to take a photo. 

We didn't have a stroller with us because my kids aren't used to sitting in one and it would be just a waste of space to bring it in our case, but if your kids are okay with it, go bring one so you wouldn't have to carry the kids around especially when they're napping. I wish we brought a carrier with us though. Me and my daughters are joined at the hip, but carrying a toddler for the whole day surely took its toll on my back.

• Go early.  

For theme park hours, visit their official website.  The park opens before lunch time and closes at around 9:00 in the evening, but remember, time flies when you're having fun.  It's best to really be there early to avoid the queues in the ticket booths, go to your chosen attractions (we all loved It's A Small World, so nostalgic) and roam around the park to have your pictures taken with your favorite Disney characters (expect to wait at least 20 minutes for Minnie, Mickey, Anna and Elsa). 

It's also best to get yourself acquainted with the theme park whereabouts and events for the day.  There are three main attractions that you wouldn't want to miss when you go there. The Flights of Fantasy parade at around 3:00 (sadly, we missed this because it was canceled due to the weather), the light show at 7:00 and the awesome fireworks display that follows after that.  Try to work your schedule around these activities so you don't miss them. My little girls loved the light parade. We had the best time there. The fireworks display wowed the adults more than the kids, but still great. 

The queues for the shows were more manageable than I expected (we were there on a Saturday), but it's still good to line up early to get the best seats. 

• Go Disney all the way ...

If you're going to Hong Kong as a family and your main destination is Disneyland, I suggest you book for a night's stay at one of the two hotels inside the resort. It's convenient (they have shuttles going to the main park every 30  minutes), within the vicinity (saves you on the travel time) and definitely completes the whole Disneyland Resort experience (we had buffet breakfast with Chef Mickey!).

We stayed at the Hollywood Hotel, which I hear is more economical than the main Disneyland Hotel.  It is quite expensive to stay the night, but it's definitely worth it. I mean, after an entire day of walking (and carrying the kids) around the theme park,  you wouldn't really want to ride the train (although the Disney train was spectacular) and buses going to the city. You would rather hop on a shuttle bus and chill by the hotel's piano-shaped pool and enjoy the facilities. My husband and I agreed that when the kids are older, we'll go back there and still stay at the Hollywood Hotel. We have to save up big time though.

• But be practical.

One bottle of mineral water inside the theme park costs 20 Hong Kong dollars. Bring your own water bottle instead. Also, if you're planning to bring home pasalubong to friends or officemates, opt to buy them outside of Disneyland to save. Unless it's for someone special or if you have the budget, then go nuts at the Disney stores inside the park. A set of key chains (around 3 or 4) at the Disney store costs a little over 100 HKD, but we bought ours (set of 5) for 50 HKD at Mong Kok (I wouldn't say it's authentic, but it will do). My sister bought these cheap light-up headbands for her nieces at Lan Kwai Fong that they wore during the Light Parade. I would imagine they would be quite costly if we get them inside the theme park. We did buy them some toys at the Disney store though, as a sort of memento for their first time at Disneyland. 

• Manage your expectations.

The moment we stepped inside the theme park, my daughter's jaw dropped, gaping at the sight of Aurora's castle. Well, that's how I pictured it in my head. Instead, she was heavily distracted by the window displays at the Disney stores and wanted nothing else but to get inside and shop for toys.  

Don't get me wrong, my kids had the time of their lives. You should hear my one-year old say the words Disneyland and Hong Kong. But what do we know about little kids and toddlers? They love to surprise us. What we think they'll do might not probably happen (although it's always best to be ready for anything), so while we're waiting for them to be amazed and swept off their feet, it wouldn't hurt for us to have a good time as well. Disneyland is for kids of all ages anyway, right?

My daughter was so shy around the mascots that we didn't even get a decent picture of her and Minnie Mouse (even though she loves to watch her on TV), wouldn't even go near Mickey, but she had a blast at the 3D animation theater.  It rained when we were there, but instead of sulking that my girls wouldn't be able to see the princesses at the afternoon parade, I made the most of the kids' nap time to enjoy one "big kid" ride with my siblings. 

When I wasn't focused on trying to make sure things went according to plan, I had a lot of fun being a kid with my kids; eating corn on the cob, admiring the awesome displays (how cool is Toy Story Land?!), blowing kisses at the Princesses... Fun times indeed. 

So that's about it. I didn't expect this post to be this long, but I hope this helps some parents who are planning on going to Disney with their toddlers, and those who are still contemplating if their two-year olds are too small for it. Go for it, I tell you. You can manage. And don't forget to relax and enjoy the moment. 

What I learned from bringing my daughter to play school aka the "I don't want to be that mother" post (Part 3 -last na!)

(For the first two parts of my post, look at the archives on the right side of the screen.)

The third lesson that I have learned from bringing my daughter to summer school had little to do with her and more with me.

During those first few days in Nash's school, aside from observing the students and teachers at the preschool, I was also, unconsciously, noticing the other parents who would bring their kids to school, and those who would inquire. 

I guess it's human nature to look at another person and make conclusions about them based on what you see on the outside. Most of the parents that I saw were a little advanced in age, maybe a couple was about my age and just one dad younger than me. From how they looked and how they talked to the teachers there, it was easy to fall into the trap of classifying them according to the "5 (or 6 or 8, depending on what blog you read) Types of Parents You Meet at Preschool" and see how you measure up to them or against them. That was me on the first few days at summer school, and the moment I realized I was doing it, I hurriedly snapped myself out of it. I didn't want to be that mother. The kind who has some imaginary scale or standard she uses to compare herself with other mothers.  

It was not on the social scale that I was sizing myself up against them (although I was a little intimidated at the start, I'll tell you that) but on the amount of involvement with our kids. I've always thought of myself as a hands-on mom, so when a mother drops off her kid to the school without even a wave goodbye, and picks him up late, I jump to conclusion that she's the "only looking for a babysitter" type.

I also think, given that most of them are professionals (or retired or businessmen) and I'm a stay-at-home mom with a home-based sideline, what do I have to offer them? That's what I meant by sizing myself up to them. Does what I do reflect on what kind of parent I am to my daughter? Would they want their kids to be friends with mine?

But from days of hanging out at the preschool and chatting with the other moms and the headmistress there, I learned that those stereotypes mean nothing. The only standard of being a good mom in preschool is being open to the changes that your child will experience and being willing to embrace that and share what you have learned with other parents. I realized that I didn't have to measure up to the other moms or dads in preschool. There is no definite description of a good mother that I have to fit into. The only mother that I have to be is the kind that my child needs.

The beauty of preschool for kids is that they have no prejudices. They don't care about stature. They don't care what the other kid is wearing, they don't care what their classmates' parents do for a living, or where they live or what their cars are, they just play and take in everything that they can learn. 

I decided to adopt the same outlook. I am still new to this "parenting a preschooler" thing anyway.  While I won't be spending too much time getting other parents to like me, I can promise that I'll keep in mind that we're all (or at least most of us are) newbies here.  So I'll be more forgiving if their kid accidentally knocks my little girl down on the floor, and not judge them if their three-year old is not as articulate as mine, just like they won't judge me when they see my daughter having a meltdown when she hears loud music. Just as our kids are still learning, so are we.  

It's been weeks since summer school ended and Nash is now officially  a preschooler.  There are still off days where I have to drag her out of the car to go inside her classroom, but I'm learning to take it in stride and not stress too much about it. Because there are also priceless moments when I see my daughter sharing a laugh with her new friends, learning to share and becoming braver and more confident each day. 

As for this Mommy, I have managed to make one mommy friend in my daughter's preschool. She is a few years older than me but we hit it off instantly. Our kids didn't end up being classmates but we would still chat when we see each other in the corridors or at the playground. She was even kind enough to send me some fresh Oregano leaves from her garden when she learned that I had a bad cold. I am on smiling terms with some of the parents who pick up their children from school, and some try to avoid eye contact and that's fine. Maybe she has a lot on her mind, or she's shy like me.

There are so many articles on the web about preparing your child for preschool. I read none of them before Nash started school, although I wish I did.  It is a huge adjustment, especially for me and my daughter who are joined at the hip. But I can't wait for my little girl to discover this new world. I'll be with her every step of the way, that's for sure.

Thanks for reading this three-part post. I hope you picked up something and I hope your little ones settles into school quickly. Have a great school year, fellow parents!

What I learned from bringing my daughter to play school aka the "Idon't want to be that mother" post (Part 2)

Nash is slowly adjusting to the classroom setting. She is learning to interact with other kids and not 'hurt the boys' as she would always say. She's okay being left in the classroom with her teachers and classmates while I stay outside. 

I'm already so at home in Nashie's school and I feel like we're already getting the hang of this preschool thing, the routine. Our little Miss has already started making friends, and even her Mommy too. I'm so excited for my daughter. I'm excited for art classes and her playing with her classmates and field trips, all the fun stuff. Even shopping for school supplies. 

One day, I was folding my daughters' clothes and updating their wardrobe (sorting clothes that are either already too small and we can give away, or getting new ones from their big bag of unused clothes - mostly gifts, I do this every quarter), I looked at some of Nash's new clothes and admired them and visualized how great she would look in these, going to her classmate's birthday parties, performing in school, having play dates ...

Then I had to stop myself. Here I go again. I was turning into another kind of mother I didn't want to be. The mother who was too concerned with their kids' appearances and social calendar.

My kid entering preschool is really bringing out the stage mother in me.  My daughter has only been in play school for a little over a week, she hasn't even fully adjusted yet and here I am, already coordinating her outfits for when she gets asked to attend a birthday party.  No.  I cannot, for the life of me, be that mother.

There's really nothing wrong with dressing up your kids. It's cute, and for a mom of two girls like me, almost normal. It's my mindset that I have to keep in check. When we decided to have kids, my husband and I said we would be raising them to be simple, frugal and confident human beings. I don't want them to have this mindset where much of their time would revolve around thinking about what to wear for a party. I don't like them to be too conscious about their appearance.

Kids these days are different, being exposed to #ootd at such an early age. But I want my kids to be different in a way that they know better than equating  their worth on clothes or shoes. 

Again, really nothing wrong with dressing up. I needed to stress that because I myself love doing it. All those beautiful and shiny pink things. And it's easy to get caught up with all that frivolity. But I just had a wake up call about the message that I'm sending to my girls. As parents we need to be more mindful of that. Actions speak louder than words, as the cliche goes. With my actions, am I saying that they need to have nice clothes to be liked? Or am I saying that it's okay if they don't have new shoes just as long as they are kind to others? I always have to be reminded of that so  I don't lose sight of the big picture.

While I want my girls to grow up knowing the importance of proper hygiene and always looking neat and well-groomed, I want them to know that it's what's inside that counts.  I want them to be confident to go to a party wearing whatever it is that makes them comfortable.  We don't have to be that mother and daughter who shows up to every school activity each looking spotless and very well-coordinated.  Heck, we don't even have to show up if we don't want to (and need to). We just have to be kind and polite to everyone we know, and hope that they like us for who we are.

Nash is not going to turn up in school wearing only a sack anytime soon, but she needs to know that her attitude matters more than the clothes on her back. I'm not going to stop her if she wants to wear a tutu dress every day (she does, fyi), just as long as she's dressing up for own happiness and always bringing her true self in class.

What I learned from bringing my daughter to play school aka the "Idon't want to be that mother" post (Part 1)

Nash is starting school in June, and in preparation for that, we have enrolled her in summer school, which is more like an intro to preschool program at our prospective school. It's so the kids who are first-timers can get a grasp of the school set-up, familiarize themselves with the surroundings and the people. Let me start by saying that this is a really great program where kids can immerse themselves in their new environment, but also for parents to at least know what to expect come June and keep their expectations in check for preschool. This part was so true for me.

The first few days in summer school were tough for Nash, but also for her mommy.  On her first day of school, Nash cried. She was doing well by herself for the first half hour and then she got startled by a loud noise and started crying. As her mother, I can tell if she was only "acting" or if she was really terrified. I saw the latter in her eyes as her teacher handed her back to me and my daughter wrapped her entire body in my arms.

At that moment I wanted to say to hell with all of this, I'm taking my child and I'm going to home school her and we'll be happy in our own little bubble. But I know that she needed this. She needs to learn to adapt and she needs go to school. 

On the second day of summer school, my little diva didn't want to mingle with the other kids, didn't want to participate in the activities and was basically clinging to me. While the other kids were stomping and singing along with the teacher, Nash, who was our home's personal entertainer and production number, was less than keen on joining them. I would encourage her to join in and even tried clapping and singing along with them, but it didn't work. 

That frustrated me a lot. I never really thought of myself as a stage mother, but knowing how great my daughter is in singing or dancing and knowing how much of a superstar she is, I couldn't get with the fact that she was being a wallflower in kindergarten. I got to a point where I felt my temper was simmering and I was close to scolding her for not participating. That was the time that I decided to step out of the room and leave Nash with her Ate (our helper). I knew I wouldn't be able to help her in that posture. 

The moms outside the classroom must have seen the frustration in my face and they reassured me that it was okay. "That's normal," the school's principal said. I told them I needed to step out because I was getting so frustrated. "Please don't be," said the principal. It's part of the first day of school blues. The teachers were used to it. But I was not. I was used to my daughter being so talkative in our house. To her being our Little Miss Sunshine. 

At that point I realized that I've been expecting too much from her. She was always this achiever in my eyes that I couldn't bear with the fact that she's having a little trouble coping up with her new environment. Then it hit me. I was turning into that mother. The mother who expected too much from her kids, who forced them into doing something they're not yet comfortable with. I don't want to be that mother. 

I was also shy and timid growing up, but I never remembered my mother forcing me to open up and participate when I'm not ready. I knew this mother not from my own parents, but from aunts and uncles who would force us to perform a song or dance number in family reunions.  Sometimes we would be cajoled or bribed into doing it, but sometimes we really wouldn't, no matter how much they forced us to. Then they would shake their heads in disappointment and we wouldn't hear the end of it until the party was over. 

While I realize now that maybe they did mean well, like they really thought we were that talented that we should show it to the world, or they just wanted us to experience the same fun they were having being in front of the crowd (being the extroverts that they are), I also remembered feeling awful that we were being forced into doing something we didn't want to do, that we almost dreaded coming to reunions, and even worse, feeling that we disappointed our elders.

I know my daughter is a superstar. I believe that in my heart. But I realized that I shouldn't be forcing her to do something she's not yet comfortable with or channeling my frustrations on her that way.  While it's okay to tell her to keep trying and not give up, I should give her more room to adjust and figure things out in her own pace. When she's ready, she'll open up. It might take time, but as her mother, I have to be patient with her as she starts her journey in this new environment and reassure her that Mommy will always be there guiding and supporting her. 

Stuff My Threenager Says

My three-year old is the boss of everything.

To be fair, I didn't really experience the gravity of the terrible twos with my eldest daughter. Maybe because I found everything she did terribly amusing. But the third year is posing to be more of a challenge for us.  She went from being this cute little toddler who struggles to string words together to make us understand what she wants to say, to this headstrong little lady who can now argue her way into getting something.

 She's opinionated, she's moody and boy does she love to make a face when we tell her to behave.    Yes, ladies and gents, I am now raising a threenager.*

The threenager is that age when your 3-year-old continually acts like they are going on 13. They have an attitude for miles, a stubborn streak, and want what they want... when they want, blogger Kristen Hewitt wrote in the article "10 Signs You Are Living With a Threenager."

Nash has always been advanced with her vocabulary (she learned to talk and sing before she could actually walk), but lately her choice of words has really evolved.  Most of the time I just shake my head because I can't believe that came from the mouth of a three-year old.  No swear words though, that is never allowed in our house.  But let me share them with you while I still find them amusing (it will be a different story if she talks like this when she's 15, that's for sure), some of my threenager's favorite words and how she uses them:

"Come on!" - usually a response to no, or later.  Whenever I don't agree on what she wants to happen.

"That's not gonna happen." - when I ask her to do something and she doesn't want to do it.

"Stop acting, Mommy." - when I pretend to be mad at someone else in the house. How did she know I was just acting, anyway?

"I'm bored. I wanna do something." - basically when she's bored, and the iPad/my phone is nowhere to be found.

"I'm not wearing that." - used quite often.  When she doesn't agree on my choice of outfit for her, which is usually something that isn't pink.

"That's not fair." - when things don't go her way. Like when her Tatay and her uncle has to leave for the office.

"She/he's not my friend." - usually when we have a friend with us (meaning my friend or her Tatay's friend) and she's not feeling that person, and she doesn't want him or her to ride in the car with us.

"Don't shout at me." - I found this totally amusing because she said it with much gusto when the person she was really saying that too wasn't even shouting or raising her voice at her (the woman was just naturally high-pitched). I therefore conclude that threenagers are sensitive.

"Don't be mad at her." - her referring to her baby sister or her favorite cousin, when we try to discipline them.  She can be too protective at times.  #tagapagtanggolngnaaapi

I'm sure there's a lot more that I couldn't remember at this moment. Yes, it really sounds funny and I'm the first one to be really amused when I hear her talk like this, but I try not to laugh and tell her when she's not being nice.  I know, I don't really have to explain myself.

She's growing up too fast and every day I pray that God will grant me the patience and the wisdom to guide her to be the best person that she can be, kind and polite, just like her ... Tatay.

Earlier, after she changed into her jammies, drank her milk, and finished watching "Wreck It Ralph" for the nth time, she called me and said, "Mommy, can you please sleep beside me?" I felt a tug at my heartstrings. At the end of what can be considered a tiring day for the two of us (me watching over her and her little sister and her, playing all day), she still longed for me just like when she was a helpless infant.  So I put my phone aside and lay down beside her.  I asked her if she would want me to sing to her, and she said "Can you please carry me?" She weighs over 16 kilos now, but I happily obliged.  She fell asleep in a few minutes in my arms.  Snoring like an adult. Tomorrow she'll have enough energy to pretend to be Ms. Bossypants, this little diva again.  But I know in my heart, she will always be my little baby.

*Can relate? I'd love to hear from other moms of girls, or moms of threenagers out there.

Does the Perfect Mother Even Exist?

Is there really such a thing? Or is it just a myth that all of us moms beat ourselves up to becoming?

When I was pregnant with my first child, I read up on a lot of books and articles to best prepare me on being a mother.  I was very sure on the things I would do - breastfeed (for at least three months, I told myself), use only cloth diapers for the baby, listen to classical music while the baby was in my womb, going all organic on my baby - everything to ensure that she would have the best, most perfect life possible.  Then I gave birth and for a second, it seemed like I did just that.  I felt that I was becoming the supermom that I was destined to be (yeah yeah, #blessed, I know). It sure looked like that on the outside.

But the truth was, I had a lot of help. I never would have been able to do all those things for my daughter if not for my husband, our families and all those groups I joined on Facebook.  My husband supported my decision of being a stay at home mom, and my own mother helped me a lot; she would wake up in the wee hours of the morning and feed Nash with my expressed milk so that I could get more sleep and cooked and mashed veggies for Nash when she was ready to eat solids. We hired a helper to wash the cloth diapers, and my in-laws would watch the baby so that I can have a few hours to go to the gym.  I will always be grateful to them for the help, but even more for their support and respect for our decisions on how we want to raise our children .

Social media taught me a lot too; I got so much information about breastfeeding, and cloth diapers and weaning from the support groups I joined on Facebook. I recently came across a really interesting article on Time Magazine entitled, "Help! My parents are millennials."  It somehow compared parenting in this generation to the previous ones. It also revealed an interesting reality: while parents of all ages are most likely to turn to their own parents for advice, millennials cast their net to Facebook, Twitter, blogs and apps. That was certainly true in my case.

But there is also a downside to it.  If you want to bring out the insecurities of a person, social media really works. And I think, next to teenagers, moms are the next ones most affected by what they see and read online.  With almost every milestone of our kids' lives documented on Facebook or Instagram, we go to great lengths to make sure our kids "measure up" to those imaginary standards we have set in social media.  We make sure their outfits are well-coordinated for their #babyootd, we bring them to the "it" play places in the metro, take lots of pictures and post it on Facebook, and fill our timelines with short anecdotes of how cute and brainy they are.  Hey, I'm not against anything like this, okay? I love reading about your "conversations" with your little ones. It's cute, I agree.

But it's not just about the kids; it's more about us, how we want the world to see us as moms.   We cyber-stalk some of our fellow mommy friends just to see what they're up to, how they are with their kids and sadly, we come up with conclusions on what kind of mother they are based on what we see on Facebook or Instagram.  We scrutinize and pick on every tiny flaw that we see in them as if that gives us some sort of validation that they aren't perfect after all.  What is it, really?  Is it our own insecurities reflecting back at us, making us feel a little better knowing that we're not the worst mother around and somebody else might be doing a worse job than us?  If that gives us satisfaction, then we must really be more twisted than we think.

While it's admirable that we want to give the best and be our best selves to our children, the truth is there's no such thing as a perfect mother.  You can be the best in this certain "parenting skill," but somewhere out there, or maybe even in our own social media circle, there will always be someone who is better than you at something else; someone who can pump and store more milk, someone whose kids are already reading or potty-trained, someone who was able to shed the baby weight in a snap and always looked put-together, someone who can do the bento food art like a boss (one day, I'll be able to do that too) and someone who can (insert your insecurity here) better than you.  It's exhausting just to keep track at which mom is doing better than you at something. But I bet you have something in common with this person - you're both hell-bent on being the best mother you can be to your children. So why the hate?

I'm not saying we should all stop trying.  What I'm saying is that we have to stop comparing ourselves to other moms out there. Stop the judging and the "mommy-shaming" and be kind. Be kind to other mothers in your area and your social media circle. We are all in this together. But most important of all, be kind to yourself. It's okay if you're not perfect. 

I am so far from being perfect. In the three years that I have been a mother to two girls, my parenting status/philosophy went from "Only the Best" to "Kaliwali," which is a favorite Arabic word among Pinoys in the Middle East meaning "Let it be" or "Never Mind." All those parenting no-nos from books have gone out the window and just focusing on what works as we go along. But on a really random day, my three-year old daughter came up to me and told me, "Mom, you're the best" with matching thumbs up sign.  I'm don't know if she really understood what that meant, but coming from her, I'd take that compliment at any given day.  Coming from her, it sure sounded a whole lot better than perfect.

Something to teach our kids this year: Kindness

I know the first quarter is over, but let's still talk about new year's resolutions. All moms have it. Things we promise to do more for our children (or for ourselves, no guilt there) for this new year. I actually have a lot on my list - reading to them before bedtime, being the one to give them a bath every day, et cetera. 

But with all that's been happening lately, I realized there is something important that I need to do for my kids this year, and that is to teach them kindness. 

How do we really teach kindness? I guess the same way us millennial (naks, nakiki-millennial talaga) moms teach our kids stuff like good manners and independence. We show them what kindness looks like and hope that they catch it. Yes, just like a cold. 

I know it's so cliche to say be a good role model to your kids, but it's true. For Koks and I, we really learned kindness through our parents, especially our mothers. I grew up seeing my mother always lending a helping hand to her friends and relatives. Sometimes it's through financial assistance, but more often it's really her time that she gives to them and that is even more precious than money. 

Being mothers and in-charge of everything in our kids' lives, it's so easy to say that we're too busy with too many things that we would rather go about with our own business and with what's convenient to us. But if my mom who raised five kids and my mother-in-law who had four kids and a full-time job was able to do it, how can we not try? 

It doesn't even have to be grand. More random acts of kindness is even better. Maybe taking a few minutes out of our busy schedules to help out a friend, a listening ear (sometimes that's all a mom needs to get by).  It can be being more patient with our kids. Something as simple as letting them take their time when we ask them to get ready. Or being more forgiving when they pee on the bed the third time that day (potty-training really gets to me). 

That being said, it's really true that kindness begins in the home. I always tell other moms in our prayer group that in everything I do, I always try to set a good example to my daughters. So if I want to raise a kind daughter, then I should be a kind mother first. Even if that means holding my tongue when I feel like shouting at my threenager, or giving in when my one-year old wants to nurse a little longer. 

Easier said than done, I know. But for our children, it wouldn't hurt to try, right? Let kindness be one value that our kids will learn this year. 

Letters to Kawaii - long read, but it's too good not to share.

I can't believe it's been a year since I gave birth to my second child, my daughter Kawaii.  She's just a great ball of happiness to our family.  

To celebrate her birthday, I'm sharing with you guys my first three letters to Kawaii.  They're so special because I see my journey unfolding with every letter.  All the excitement, all the fears, the rollercoaster of emotions.  Ah, motherhood.  

To Kawaii, my beautiful surprise, my spunky little darling, Happy Birthday and Mommy loves you so much.  


July 16, 2014

Dearest Baby Kawhi,

Hi! How are you my little champ? I pray everyday that you are doing well inside my tummy. Like I told your Ate before, feel free to move around my tummy and make yourself comfortable. Let Mommy worry about the rest.

My child, you came as a surprise to us; unexpected, yet a very lovely and welcome one. I just want to take this moment to tell you that. Although we haven't planned on having another baby this early, it's important for you to know that we're very happy you're here and we love you no less than if you come two, five or ten years later.

You are one of our biggest blessings and we love you so much.  I can't wait to hear your heartbeat again, or see you in ultrasound and find out if you're a boy or a girl. But regardless of your gender, know that you have a Mommy, a Tatay and Ate who loves you very, very much.

November 5, 2014

Dear Kawaii,

As I write this, I can feel you moving around inside of me.  You're not a shy one.  You always make your presence felt when you're awake.

My darling, I just want to tell you that I love you.  Even though I still don't know yet to what extent, but I know in my heart that I do.  You've occupied a piece of my heart that will only be yours.  And I want to say I'm sorry. If I ever made you feel that you are less than what you really mean to us.  A dream come true. A beloved daughter. An answered prayer.  

I'm sorry if how we welcomed you was less than enthusiastic. I'd be lying if I told you that we planned for you; we didn't. But we dreamed for you. At least I know I did, deep in my heart.  I wanted another little girl like your Ate.  

I'm sorry for the little discomforts that you feel whenever I had to carry your sister, or when she unknowingly shoves her elbow or foot in my tummy. I don't want you feeling hurt in any way, and your Ate already knows you and loves you.  I will make sure that she cares for you and protects you as long as the two of you live.  

Sometimes I feel that you keep moving around just to get my attention. I'm sorry if you ever feel that it is lacking. Or maybe I'm just feeling guilty.  Or anxious, that no matter what I do, I can never be fully prepared for you.  Nevertheless, please forgive me for being distracted and not being brave enough.  Thank you for being the brave and the strong one.  

Please forgive Mommy anak.  For all my shortcomings.  And thank you for fighting for us, for our family.  I know someday, I will live in a world where I cannot imagine life without you.  And that's all because you fought to be here with us, despite my weakness.  

Please stay strong for us, Kawaii.  Stay healthy and safe inside Mommy's tummy.  I promise you that we will protect and love you as much as we can and as long as we live.  I can not promise to be fair with you and your sister, but I promise that I will love you deeply and passionately with all of my heart, because that's how a mother loves.  

See you after Christmas my darling girl.

January 19, 2015

Dear Kawaii,

You turn a week old as I write this. You were born on January 12, 2015 at 4:06 in the afternoon.  Your big sister got sick early in the morning so we had to attend to her.  That was when I felt that I was starting labor.  So we rushed to the hospital. We were expecting a normal delivery but there were several complications that we had to resort to a C-section.  We paid more than we were hoping for, but you were definitely worth it. 

We named you Lilian Amanda - Lilian which symbolizes purity, and Amanda which means "worthy of love." If I had any doubts about the love I would have for you before, it's all gone now.  The moment you locked eyes with mine, and you sucked milk from my breasts (we're having some struggles with that now, but we're working on it),  I knew in my heart that you are mine.  A part of me.  My daughter. There's no way that I could love you less.  

People say you're a spitting image of your Ate.  It's true,  you both are beautiful. How did we get so lucky? But you also have your own beauty, your own personality.  You've got spunk.  Your Ate kind of knew she was our princess the moment she was born. But you, I sense you're more of a fighter. You demand, you kick, you cry (wail!) when you need us. You may be second-born, but you will never be second best.  I love you and your Ate the same special unconditional way.  

I love you so much my darling.  Thank you for showing me that it's possible for my heart to really grow bigger.  I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you, Ate Nashie and Tatay.  

Love, 

Mom

My First Letter to My Firstborn (first of the Letters to My Firstborn Series)

Hey folks! I haven't gotten round to finishing my latest blog entry yet, so I thought I'd share with you something very special.  For those who know me, you know I'm not the feelings-sharing type, so this is kind of monumental.  Here's the very first letter I wrote to my eldest daughter, when I found out I was pregnant with her.  I know moms can relate to this, and maybe even dads too.  

Here's to the new moms out there. This started the whole motherhood journey for me.  I love reading this over and over, and I hope you'll enjoy reading it too.

February 25, 2012

Well, hello there.

You little one of mine in my tummy. I had a feeling you were really coming soon.  

Two days ago I just woke up to a dream and I found my lower right abdomen hurt and I searched Google to know what it might be, and I was faced with horrible news.  It made me so scared to even wish it for us.  I wasn’t scared for me, I was so scared for you.  I cannot bear the thought of you not being where you need to be and losing you.  The thought just shook my whole world.

It took your titas in Couples For Christ to convince me that there’s no use in believing everything on the internet and that you are fine if you are really there.  But at that moment, I prayed for you.  I knew I wanted you more than anything, your safety is of utmost importance to me.  So I had to know if you’re really inside.  I convinced your dad to get a pregnancy kit and the next day, I woke up ready to know if I am pregnant or not.  The moment I peed into the test, the strip turned pink and not long after, I saw my very first plus sign on a pregnancy test.  I swear I almost went cross-eyed.  My excitement was indescribable.  I would have jumped if I knew it was safe.  Your father did jump though when we figured out the test results were positive.  You could not imagine the joy, the glimmer of hope that little stick brought us.  Honestly, I thought I could die now that you live.  We repeated the test using a cheaper brand, and got two clear and happy purple lines.  We couldn’t be happier that day.

The next morning was all about me confirming to the doctor that you were okay.  I wanted to go and find out as soon as I can, but the schedule didn’t permit me.  I was starting to have a fit and your dad didn’t like how I was acting at the clinic but I just couldn’t help it.  I wanted to make sure you were okay.  But in the end, I had to wait a few more hours.  We went to the supermarket and to church instead.

Gladly, it was worth all the waiting.  All the hours of waiting at every doctor’s appointment the past year, all the medicines I had to take to fix my hormonal problems, all the false alarms we had to endure.  When it was finally our turn at the doctor, turns out everything is fine with you.  Thank God!  All my worrying was for nothing but early signs of a healthy pregnancy.  We were beyond ecstatic, your dad and I.  All that mattered to me is that you’re healthy.

We have to wait for two more weeks to hear your heartbeat and I have to take it easy.  But I know you’re going to be alright.  I’m going to be on my best behavior, do the best I can to protect you.  I haven’t been this careful all my life.  I’ve been feeling some abdominal pains here and there, but Mommy can take it, Hon.  Just move and adjust my uterus all you want, as long as you’re healthy and comfy in there.

I know that you will be safe and healthy.  Because you are a loved baby.  We love you like our world.  You are the most important one in our life right now, but no matter how much I love you, always remember that no one else will love you more than our Father in Heaven.  He gave you life and He gave you to me and your dad.  He loves you so I know He will be there for you.  For us.  He will give you beautiful heartbeats and lovely body parts and make you healthy.  And an awesome life in the future.

I can’t wait to hear your heartbeat, my little one.  My heart already beats for you.  I’m in love with you is an understatement.  So I’m praying with all my might that your heart is beating for me too.  Stay with me my little one.  Hold on tight until I can hold you in my arms after seven to eight months.

Your father has already started calling you BABY NASH.  Do you like the sound of that?  I kind of do.  We have to think of a second name for you though.  We’re also contemplating on whether I give birth to you here or in the Philippines.  What do you think?  I read online that by this time your cells, body parts and brain are already developing and I can;t help but think how healthy and good looking and smart you’re going to be.  Gosh, I really am so excited for you.

I love you so much Baby Nash.

Love,

Mom

New Year, New Blog.

Hello world, universe rather! Happy new year!

What better way to start 2016 for me than to do something I've always wanted to do and finally stop making excuses why I'm not doing it. So here I am now, publishing my new blog. 

It's funny how I felt that motherhood got in the way of my writing, when I've never been so inspired to write like I am now. 

I can't wait to share my random thoughts about parenting, motherhood, and really just make kwento about my kids and how it's like to be a mom to little girls. I like writing short letters to my daughters so I'll also post them here. 

This post is really random and it has been ages since I last wrote anything so forgive me if there are any grammatical errors or glitches in my posts. I'm probably fighting sleep or breastfeeding while writing them. And I'm not claiming to be an expert at parenting or anything like that. So if there are moms who will be reading my future posts, chill. Let's try not to be easily offended in 2016. Comments are still welcome, of course.

 

2015 will always be special. I gave birth to my second child that year. But I'm also excited for this new year, all the hope, all the possibilities. And now, this. I'm about to go back to my roots, my first love which is writing. Let's see how this pans out. 

Have a great year ahead!