Something to teach our kids this year: Kindness

I know the first quarter is over, but let's still talk about new year's resolutions. All moms have it. Things we promise to do more for our children (or for ourselves, no guilt there) for this new year. I actually have a lot on my list - reading to them before bedtime, being the one to give them a bath every day, et cetera. 

But with all that's been happening lately, I realized there is something important that I need to do for my kids this year, and that is to teach them kindness. 

How do we really teach kindness? I guess the same way us millennial (naks, nakiki-millennial talaga) moms teach our kids stuff like good manners and independence. We show them what kindness looks like and hope that they catch it. Yes, just like a cold. 

I know it's so cliche to say be a good role model to your kids, but it's true. For Koks and I, we really learned kindness through our parents, especially our mothers. I grew up seeing my mother always lending a helping hand to her friends and relatives. Sometimes it's through financial assistance, but more often it's really her time that she gives to them and that is even more precious than money. 

Being mothers and in-charge of everything in our kids' lives, it's so easy to say that we're too busy with too many things that we would rather go about with our own business and with what's convenient to us. But if my mom who raised five kids and my mother-in-law who had four kids and a full-time job was able to do it, how can we not try? 

It doesn't even have to be grand. More random acts of kindness is even better. Maybe taking a few minutes out of our busy schedules to help out a friend, a listening ear (sometimes that's all a mom needs to get by).  It can be being more patient with our kids. Something as simple as letting them take their time when we ask them to get ready. Or being more forgiving when they pee on the bed the third time that day (potty-training really gets to me). 

That being said, it's really true that kindness begins in the home. I always tell other moms in our prayer group that in everything I do, I always try to set a good example to my daughters. So if I want to raise a kind daughter, then I should be a kind mother first. Even if that means holding my tongue when I feel like shouting at my threenager, or giving in when my one-year old wants to nurse a little longer. 

Easier said than done, I know. But for our children, it wouldn't hurt to try, right? Let kindness be one value that our kids will learn this year. 

Letters to Kawaii - long read, but it's too good not to share.

I can't believe it's been a year since I gave birth to my second child, my daughter Kawaii.  She's just a great ball of happiness to our family.  

To celebrate her birthday, I'm sharing with you guys my first three letters to Kawaii.  They're so special because I see my journey unfolding with every letter.  All the excitement, all the fears, the rollercoaster of emotions.  Ah, motherhood.  

To Kawaii, my beautiful surprise, my spunky little darling, Happy Birthday and Mommy loves you so much.  


July 16, 2014

Dearest Baby Kawhi,

Hi! How are you my little champ? I pray everyday that you are doing well inside my tummy. Like I told your Ate before, feel free to move around my tummy and make yourself comfortable. Let Mommy worry about the rest.

My child, you came as a surprise to us; unexpected, yet a very lovely and welcome one. I just want to take this moment to tell you that. Although we haven't planned on having another baby this early, it's important for you to know that we're very happy you're here and we love you no less than if you come two, five or ten years later.

You are one of our biggest blessings and we love you so much.  I can't wait to hear your heartbeat again, or see you in ultrasound and find out if you're a boy or a girl. But regardless of your gender, know that you have a Mommy, a Tatay and Ate who loves you very, very much.

November 5, 2014

Dear Kawaii,

As I write this, I can feel you moving around inside of me.  You're not a shy one.  You always make your presence felt when you're awake.

My darling, I just want to tell you that I love you.  Even though I still don't know yet to what extent, but I know in my heart that I do.  You've occupied a piece of my heart that will only be yours.  And I want to say I'm sorry. If I ever made you feel that you are less than what you really mean to us.  A dream come true. A beloved daughter. An answered prayer.  

I'm sorry if how we welcomed you was less than enthusiastic. I'd be lying if I told you that we planned for you; we didn't. But we dreamed for you. At least I know I did, deep in my heart.  I wanted another little girl like your Ate.  

I'm sorry for the little discomforts that you feel whenever I had to carry your sister, or when she unknowingly shoves her elbow or foot in my tummy. I don't want you feeling hurt in any way, and your Ate already knows you and loves you.  I will make sure that she cares for you and protects you as long as the two of you live.  

Sometimes I feel that you keep moving around just to get my attention. I'm sorry if you ever feel that it is lacking. Or maybe I'm just feeling guilty.  Or anxious, that no matter what I do, I can never be fully prepared for you.  Nevertheless, please forgive me for being distracted and not being brave enough.  Thank you for being the brave and the strong one.  

Please forgive Mommy anak.  For all my shortcomings.  And thank you for fighting for us, for our family.  I know someday, I will live in a world where I cannot imagine life without you.  And that's all because you fought to be here with us, despite my weakness.  

Please stay strong for us, Kawaii.  Stay healthy and safe inside Mommy's tummy.  I promise you that we will protect and love you as much as we can and as long as we live.  I can not promise to be fair with you and your sister, but I promise that I will love you deeply and passionately with all of my heart, because that's how a mother loves.  

See you after Christmas my darling girl.

January 19, 2015

Dear Kawaii,

You turn a week old as I write this. You were born on January 12, 2015 at 4:06 in the afternoon.  Your big sister got sick early in the morning so we had to attend to her.  That was when I felt that I was starting labor.  So we rushed to the hospital. We were expecting a normal delivery but there were several complications that we had to resort to a C-section.  We paid more than we were hoping for, but you were definitely worth it. 

We named you Lilian Amanda - Lilian which symbolizes purity, and Amanda which means "worthy of love." If I had any doubts about the love I would have for you before, it's all gone now.  The moment you locked eyes with mine, and you sucked milk from my breasts (we're having some struggles with that now, but we're working on it),  I knew in my heart that you are mine.  A part of me.  My daughter. There's no way that I could love you less.  

People say you're a spitting image of your Ate.  It's true,  you both are beautiful. How did we get so lucky? But you also have your own beauty, your own personality.  You've got spunk.  Your Ate kind of knew she was our princess the moment she was born. But you, I sense you're more of a fighter. You demand, you kick, you cry (wail!) when you need us. You may be second-born, but you will never be second best.  I love you and your Ate the same special unconditional way.  

I love you so much my darling.  Thank you for showing me that it's possible for my heart to really grow bigger.  I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you, Ate Nashie and Tatay.  

Love, 

Mom

My First Letter to My Firstborn (first of the Letters to My Firstborn Series)

Hey folks! I haven't gotten round to finishing my latest blog entry yet, so I thought I'd share with you something very special.  For those who know me, you know I'm not the feelings-sharing type, so this is kind of monumental.  Here's the very first letter I wrote to my eldest daughter, when I found out I was pregnant with her.  I know moms can relate to this, and maybe even dads too.  

Here's to the new moms out there. This started the whole motherhood journey for me.  I love reading this over and over, and I hope you'll enjoy reading it too.

February 25, 2012

Well, hello there.

You little one of mine in my tummy. I had a feeling you were really coming soon.  

Two days ago I just woke up to a dream and I found my lower right abdomen hurt and I searched Google to know what it might be, and I was faced with horrible news.  It made me so scared to even wish it for us.  I wasn’t scared for me, I was so scared for you.  I cannot bear the thought of you not being where you need to be and losing you.  The thought just shook my whole world.

It took your titas in Couples For Christ to convince me that there’s no use in believing everything on the internet and that you are fine if you are really there.  But at that moment, I prayed for you.  I knew I wanted you more than anything, your safety is of utmost importance to me.  So I had to know if you’re really inside.  I convinced your dad to get a pregnancy kit and the next day, I woke up ready to know if I am pregnant or not.  The moment I peed into the test, the strip turned pink and not long after, I saw my very first plus sign on a pregnancy test.  I swear I almost went cross-eyed.  My excitement was indescribable.  I would have jumped if I knew it was safe.  Your father did jump though when we figured out the test results were positive.  You could not imagine the joy, the glimmer of hope that little stick brought us.  Honestly, I thought I could die now that you live.  We repeated the test using a cheaper brand, and got two clear and happy purple lines.  We couldn’t be happier that day.

The next morning was all about me confirming to the doctor that you were okay.  I wanted to go and find out as soon as I can, but the schedule didn’t permit me.  I was starting to have a fit and your dad didn’t like how I was acting at the clinic but I just couldn’t help it.  I wanted to make sure you were okay.  But in the end, I had to wait a few more hours.  We went to the supermarket and to church instead.

Gladly, it was worth all the waiting.  All the hours of waiting at every doctor’s appointment the past year, all the medicines I had to take to fix my hormonal problems, all the false alarms we had to endure.  When it was finally our turn at the doctor, turns out everything is fine with you.  Thank God!  All my worrying was for nothing but early signs of a healthy pregnancy.  We were beyond ecstatic, your dad and I.  All that mattered to me is that you’re healthy.

We have to wait for two more weeks to hear your heartbeat and I have to take it easy.  But I know you’re going to be alright.  I’m going to be on my best behavior, do the best I can to protect you.  I haven’t been this careful all my life.  I’ve been feeling some abdominal pains here and there, but Mommy can take it, Hon.  Just move and adjust my uterus all you want, as long as you’re healthy and comfy in there.

I know that you will be safe and healthy.  Because you are a loved baby.  We love you like our world.  You are the most important one in our life right now, but no matter how much I love you, always remember that no one else will love you more than our Father in Heaven.  He gave you life and He gave you to me and your dad.  He loves you so I know He will be there for you.  For us.  He will give you beautiful heartbeats and lovely body parts and make you healthy.  And an awesome life in the future.

I can’t wait to hear your heartbeat, my little one.  My heart already beats for you.  I’m in love with you is an understatement.  So I’m praying with all my might that your heart is beating for me too.  Stay with me my little one.  Hold on tight until I can hold you in my arms after seven to eight months.

Your father has already started calling you BABY NASH.  Do you like the sound of that?  I kind of do.  We have to think of a second name for you though.  We’re also contemplating on whether I give birth to you here or in the Philippines.  What do you think?  I read online that by this time your cells, body parts and brain are already developing and I can;t help but think how healthy and good looking and smart you’re going to be.  Gosh, I really am so excited for you.

I love you so much Baby Nash.

Love,

Mom

New Year, New Blog.

Hello world, universe rather! Happy new year!

What better way to start 2016 for me than to do something I've always wanted to do and finally stop making excuses why I'm not doing it. So here I am now, publishing my new blog. 

It's funny how I felt that motherhood got in the way of my writing, when I've never been so inspired to write like I am now. 

I can't wait to share my random thoughts about parenting, motherhood, and really just make kwento about my kids and how it's like to be a mom to little girls. I like writing short letters to my daughters so I'll also post them here. 

This post is really random and it has been ages since I last wrote anything so forgive me if there are any grammatical errors or glitches in my posts. I'm probably fighting sleep or breastfeeding while writing them. And I'm not claiming to be an expert at parenting or anything like that. So if there are moms who will be reading my future posts, chill. Let's try not to be easily offended in 2016. Comments are still welcome, of course.

 

2015 will always be special. I gave birth to my second child that year. But I'm also excited for this new year, all the hope, all the possibilities. And now, this. I'm about to go back to my roots, my first love which is writing. Let's see how this pans out. 

Have a great year ahead!