I want my kids to explore the outdoors, but I’m afraid (part 1 of 2)

When I first started dreaming of having kids with my husband, I pictured little boys and girls with insurmountable energy. Their skin tanned and their hair smelled of the sun and sweat as a result of our weekend road trips to the beach where they are so used to the water, “playing any sport imaginable,” as their Tatay would always say. 

Fast forward to five years later, I’ve got (a little boy and) two staycation queens who can stay glued to their gadgets, watching videos on YouTube for hours. They rarely play outside, which I think is the trend among middle class families here in the metro. They get quite fussy on car trips that last more than 30 minutes, (or over 3 miles) saying that it’s “quite far” and prefer to stay at home. 

While the thought that they’ve gotten so used to staying in hotels amuses me (they know the drill so well, they want to be hoteliers in the future), and I’m not even going to pretend that gadgets are 100% the enemy, but I just feel that they are not having the full life that they deserve. 

Don’t get me wrong, this post is not about me setting unrealistic expectations for my children. And my kids are not deprived. They are creative, imaginative and fun-loving girls. I just think they should be out there doing what they want, not watching it on the screen. Not to mention that being on the outdoors will help a lot in their health and well-being, and social skills as well. 

So what’s stopping my children from being the sporty, outdoorsy, natural athletes? The truth? It’s me. 

Yes, budget is a factor, but it’s not so much finances, as I believe money will always come. And we really want to invest on giving our kids happy memories and experiences more than material things. 

Also admittedly, making time and making an effort to go out can be an issue. Moms know how much planning and packing it entails for just a day tour out of the city. Getting the kids ready to leave the house is a whole production in and of itself. Yet, if there’s somebody who can get a seemingly impossible task done, it’s us moms. 

So what really keeps me from saying yes? Fear. 

So I try as much as possible to keep them indoors. As my way of protecting them and keeping them safe.  But lately I realized, the element of danger is always there. It can be  at the beach, in a faraway province, inside a mall, in our own villages, in our own homes, even. For no matter how I try to babyproof/toddler proof at home, most of my kids’ accidents happened inside the house. 

Yes, I’m afraid that something might happen to my kids. Their safety and well-being is of the highest importance to me. But should I let my fear stop me from letting my kids experience the joy of being outdoors? Of trying new things and finding out they can excel in that? I don’t want them growing up living in fear, afraid to try new things because I told them it’s dangerous. 

I remember when our parents got us rollerblades. Our grandmother wasn’t happy with it because we might get into an accident using them. Somehow, she was right. We crashed and fell, got bruises and skinned our knees, but boy, we felt so happy cruising on our street, testing our balancing skills in those rollerblades. 

I think I was 12 years old when I first learned to commute on my own. But I wasn’t that scared, because I have been riding on jeepneys and tricycles for as long as I can remember. I realized later on that commuting wasn’t much fun, but I’d like to think it gave me some street smarts to balance my book smart.

So maybe the fear will always be there. It’s basic human instinct that helps us identify threats and push us to survive. But I realized that I have to take the reins and control that fear and be a little brave, so my children can live a fuller life. 

You know that meme about parents telling their kids, “You can do anything.” Then as soon as they see their kids do something that might get them in trouble, they go, “Don’t do that!” That’s me most of the time. But I don’t want to be that mom for long. 

I want them to learn to surf, to dive, to climb trees and mountains, to explore caves, to own a pet, excel in a sport, join a team, feel a passion for Mother Nature, things that I wasn’t able to do. But for them to do that, first I need to let go of some of the fear, so that I can hold their hand as I guide them towards the path of adventure. 

(Cue musical scoring from Disney Pixar’s Up. Haha)

I know, easier said (or written) than done. So on my next post, I will write about some ways for me and other parents to let go of the fear and be an enabler for their kids to explore “what’s out there.” If you have any tips for me, please feel free to leave a comment or write to me at mommycamstowrite@gmail.com