The phrase "Motherhood is a gift" gets thrown around a lot of times that it almost feels like a cliche. Why do they say it though? I know I'm blessed to have gotten this gift six years ago. I know some women have not received it yet (or decided not to be a mother, that's fine too if that's what they want). Although when you're trying to get a fussy baby to sleep, when you barely have the time to look at yourself in the mirror, when you feel like you don't know who you are anymore, you get to thinking, really, where's the gift part in motherhood? What perks did I get? I know there's supposed to be a lot, but sometimes, I don't know exactly what those are. Does anybody else feel that?
Then, it came. I wasn't even thinking about it. I was actually in the shower when it hit me, how motherhood has changed me as a person. And in no particular order, the answers just came flashing by:
It gave me friends. Before becoming a mother, I have often regarded myself as cliquish, because I'm quite shy and a little awkward. Typical introvert. I didn't know how to initiate conversations as I feel like I usually have nothing in common with most people. Fast forward to now, I have learned how to make small talk with other moms. Some of those chats later on became meaningful conversations and passing acquaintances evolved into deep friendships. It's easy because being a mom makes you so connected to other women; their struggles, their joys and fears are also my own. I have learned to open up to people without constantly worrying that I'm being judged. I gained friends, and found a community. That being said, I have also learned to value the people who knew me before motherhood happened, and those who stuck with me even though we barely have time to catch up.
It gave me laughter. Motherhood taught me to laugh at the silliest things. And as all those parenting memes prove, we can take the most stressful situations in our lives and turn it into some inside joke only us moms understand. Plus I get my daily dose of funny antics from my very own personal jokers.
It gave me a voice. I have been blogging way before blogging was considered cool again, although it's called vlogging now. But I have always struggled with keeping my blogs because I didn't know what to write about; I didn't have that much passion for something to be putting it into writing. But that was before motherhood. Now, I have a point of view. And I have found a higher purpose for my blog than just to vent. I have learned that with my voice, as a mom, I can inspire and encourage others. I'm always so excited to write on my blog because it meant pouring my heart out to my readers - my fellow moms or parents, who can relate to what I’m going through. Hopefully in the future, my children will get to read what I wrote (or they'll appreciate it more if I vlog?) and they will know how much I loved and love being their mom.
It gave me compassion. Gone are the days when I would only think of what would be best for me, or do things that would only serve my own interests. Motherhood made me realize how blessed I am to have the resources and support available, and that sadly, not all women have the same. When you're a mother, your heart would ache every time you learn that a little child is sick, when a fellow mother is struggling, or being misunderstood. That if you could do something, even just a tiny thing to spare their pain, or lighten their load, you would do it. I'm not the kindest, most perfect human being there is, but I'm trying to practice compassion every day, because I want my children to learn from me, to see it from me, just as I saw it from my mother.
It gave me a better perspective. Since motherhood, I have learned to let go of my hang ups a little. The things that I thought were important then, are not really that important now. I have learned to look at the big picture, while appreciating the little things. I have learned to let go of "the plan" and how I thought my life would be when I reach a certain age. Instead, I am just grateful for every day that I get to wake up and be with my husband and kids. I wake up not knowing how much money I have on my wallet, but still being at my happiest. All that matters to me are the smiles on my children's faces. As long as my family is safe, happy and healthy, everything else will be fine.
It gave me strength. The moment we give birth, we get asked the question, "How did you do it?" or people tell us, "I don't know how you do it." Carrying a human being in our wombs for nine months; breastfeeding our children post-surgery, dealing with postpartum depression, leaving our children to go back to work. We all try to dismiss it like it's "no big deal," but it is.
Last year, I found myself crying at the doctor's office when the surgeon told me that my then one-month old son had to undergo surgery for his hernia. My heart was broken into a million pieces, but still I was able to “woman up” and make the decision to go through with the surgery. Barely two months after, it was my turn to have a surgery for my gallbladder. Two days after a laparoscopy and some internal bleeding, I was able to breastfeed my baby boy, and carry him too.
WE are strong. Sometimes because we have no other option, but we have been given the unbelievable strength to keep pushing and keep fighting for our families.
It gave me courage. "Would you die for someone you truly love?" Before, it would take me hours or even days to answer this question. I'd say yes, if it was a member of my family. Even that would have me really contemplating long and hard before I can answer. But now, if I was asked this question pertaining to my children, I know the answer. Yes. In a heartbeat, I would. Because mothers are not really afraid of dying. We're afraid that when we're gone, no one would love our children like we can.
It gave me wisdom. The experience of motherhood is the best teacher. Never have I been so eager to learn until now. I learn from my fellow mothers, from my own mother, and from my children every day.
It gave me faith. Becoming a mother made me realize that even if you have done your best, gave your all, cried every tear, some things are still left uncertain. We cannot control everything. And on those days, I know that only my faith can save me. I know that there's a greater being who knows everything. Who knows what’s best for me, and who loves my children more than I can ever hope to love them.
It gave me hope. This is why we do all these things, make sacrifices for our children. To make sure that they would be strong, compassionate human beings in the future. If we fill our children with love, security and encouragement while they are young, can you imagine how they would be as adults? I'm sure the world would be a much better place.
It gave me love. Or should I say more love? It gave me so much love than I could ever ask for.
Sometimes motherhood comes to us as a surprise, and despite our best efforts to prepare for it or "keep up" with it, it always catches us off-hand. Like we got thrown into the deep sea and we just have to keep paddling and try to survive. So we don't always have the time to reflect and contemplate on what motherhood has made of us as individuals. The kind of person we have become. How it has enriched our lives.
Yes, there were times when I felt that I lost parts of myself when I became a mother. But looking back on everything I have gained, I can say that it’s all worth it.
Then, it came. I wasn't even thinking about it. I was actually in the shower when it hit me, how motherhood has changed me as a person. And in no particular order, the answers just came flashing by:
It gave me friends. Before becoming a mother, I have often regarded myself as cliquish, because I'm quite shy and a little awkward. Typical introvert. I didn't know how to initiate conversations as I feel like I usually have nothing in common with most people. Fast forward to now, I have learned how to make small talk with other moms. Some of those chats later on became meaningful conversations and passing acquaintances evolved into deep friendships. It's easy because being a mom makes you so connected to other women; their struggles, their joys and fears are also my own. I have learned to open up to people without constantly worrying that I'm being judged. I gained friends, and found a community. That being said, I have also learned to value the people who knew me before motherhood happened, and those who stuck with me even though we barely have time to catch up.
It gave me laughter. Motherhood taught me to laugh at the silliest things. And as all those parenting memes prove, we can take the most stressful situations in our lives and turn it into some inside joke only us moms understand. Plus I get my daily dose of funny antics from my very own personal jokers.
It gave me a voice. I have been blogging way before blogging was considered cool again, although it's called vlogging now. But I have always struggled with keeping my blogs because I didn't know what to write about; I didn't have that much passion for something to be putting it into writing. But that was before motherhood. Now, I have a point of view. And I have found a higher purpose for my blog than just to vent. I have learned that with my voice, as a mom, I can inspire and encourage others. I'm always so excited to write on my blog because it meant pouring my heart out to my readers - my fellow moms or parents, who can relate to what I’m going through. Hopefully in the future, my children will get to read what I wrote (or they'll appreciate it more if I vlog?) and they will know how much I loved and love being their mom.
It gave me compassion. Gone are the days when I would only think of what would be best for me, or do things that would only serve my own interests. Motherhood made me realize how blessed I am to have the resources and support available, and that sadly, not all women have the same. When you're a mother, your heart would ache every time you learn that a little child is sick, when a fellow mother is struggling, or being misunderstood. That if you could do something, even just a tiny thing to spare their pain, or lighten their load, you would do it. I'm not the kindest, most perfect human being there is, but I'm trying to practice compassion every day, because I want my children to learn from me, to see it from me, just as I saw it from my mother.
It gave me a better perspective. Since motherhood, I have learned to let go of my hang ups a little. The things that I thought were important then, are not really that important now. I have learned to look at the big picture, while appreciating the little things. I have learned to let go of "the plan" and how I thought my life would be when I reach a certain age. Instead, I am just grateful for every day that I get to wake up and be with my husband and kids. I wake up not knowing how much money I have on my wallet, but still being at my happiest. All that matters to me are the smiles on my children's faces. As long as my family is safe, happy and healthy, everything else will be fine.
It gave me strength. The moment we give birth, we get asked the question, "How did you do it?" or people tell us, "I don't know how you do it." Carrying a human being in our wombs for nine months; breastfeeding our children post-surgery, dealing with postpartum depression, leaving our children to go back to work. We all try to dismiss it like it's "no big deal," but it is.
Last year, I found myself crying at the doctor's office when the surgeon told me that my then one-month old son had to undergo surgery for his hernia. My heart was broken into a million pieces, but still I was able to “woman up” and make the decision to go through with the surgery. Barely two months after, it was my turn to have a surgery for my gallbladder. Two days after a laparoscopy and some internal bleeding, I was able to breastfeed my baby boy, and carry him too.
WE are strong. Sometimes because we have no other option, but we have been given the unbelievable strength to keep pushing and keep fighting for our families.
It gave me courage. "Would you die for someone you truly love?" Before, it would take me hours or even days to answer this question. I'd say yes, if it was a member of my family. Even that would have me really contemplating long and hard before I can answer. But now, if I was asked this question pertaining to my children, I know the answer. Yes. In a heartbeat, I would. Because mothers are not really afraid of dying. We're afraid that when we're gone, no one would love our children like we can.
It gave me wisdom. The experience of motherhood is the best teacher. Never have I been so eager to learn until now. I learn from my fellow mothers, from my own mother, and from my children every day.
It gave me faith. Becoming a mother made me realize that even if you have done your best, gave your all, cried every tear, some things are still left uncertain. We cannot control everything. And on those days, I know that only my faith can save me. I know that there's a greater being who knows everything. Who knows what’s best for me, and who loves my children more than I can ever hope to love them.
It gave me hope. This is why we do all these things, make sacrifices for our children. To make sure that they would be strong, compassionate human beings in the future. If we fill our children with love, security and encouragement while they are young, can you imagine how they would be as adults? I'm sure the world would be a much better place.
It gave me love. Or should I say more love? It gave me so much love than I could ever ask for.
None of my children had "Mama" as their first word. But it's the word they use most often in a day. They call my name not just because they need me, but also because they want me around. They want to show me their accomplishments. They value what I think and how I feel. Those unlimited hugs and kisses they shower me with? It's like a taste of heaven. And to be able to give and receive unconditional love every day, it’s like God gave me a glimpse of how it feels to be Him.
Sometimes motherhood comes to us as a surprise, and despite our best efforts to prepare for it or "keep up" with it, it always catches us off-hand. Like we got thrown into the deep sea and we just have to keep paddling and try to survive. So we don't always have the time to reflect and contemplate on what motherhood has made of us as individuals. The kind of person we have become. How it has enriched our lives.
Yes, there were times when I felt that I lost parts of myself when I became a mother. But looking back on everything I have gained, I can say that it’s all worth it.
I'm so grateful for this gift. God has blessed me so much when he made me Mom. I give back all glory and honor to Him for that. And the only way I can ever repay Him for this beautiful gift is by being a gift myself. To my children, my loved ones and other people as well.
Happy Mother’s Day!
