When I was a kid, your grandfather would bring us to parks, good places to eat and play, or anywhere the family could have fun, and then he would encapsulate a nice memory we have together by saying, "Paglaki niyo, maalala niyo ito," which translates to "When you grow up, you'll remember this (specific memory)."
I wanted to have moments like that with you, but sometimes I feel like you're too young to actually remember anything. Raising you though, made me realize that this phase we're in right now is different. It's me who wants to remember everything about you today. The things you say and how you make me so happy. And then when you grow up, I'll remember.
My darling, you're only four years old, but there's already so much I want to remember about you.
I'll remember your butt dance and your funny faces, and how you want to make everybody around you laugh. And after your great-grandpa died, you asked your Lola, "Do you miss your dad?" And when she said yes, you tried to console her. You said, "You'll see him in heaven, with Jesus." We laughed. When we talk about you, you always ask, "Are you talking about me?" And we laugh because you always find a way of making things lighter.
You have a way with people that always makes them feel better when you're around. You entertain them by talking to them, asking them questions or serving them pretend food. Every time I remember that about you, I always feel so proud.
Usually, parents are proud when their children achieve something in school, or in sports. You're a very smart, athletic and talented kid, but what makes me proudest is your personality. How you make everybody smile. One time, you asked Instagram if you're cute. And our followers gushed at how adorable you are. Sometimes I wish I can share your videos with the world, but that's another issue about protecting your privacy and preserving your childhood. And we have moments that are way too precious to be reduced to an IG story.
I'll fondly remember them so that when you grow up, I'll tell you. That even as a kid, you were so precious and kind. When the time comes that you doubt how good of a person you are, I'll tell you that you were the sweetest child on the planet.
Because you're such an easy child, I worry about you for the future. I wonder if more years on earth or adolescence will change you. I know I still have a decade to prepare for that, but I hope you remain to be the sweet, good-natured girl that I love.
But when the rebellion years begin and you start to find me annoying, I'll remember how you told me that when you're already a grown-up, we'll be the best of friends. When you want to move out or be as far away from me as possible, I'll remember how you promised to visit me all the time. When you start getting all those teenage angst and emotions, I'll remember how you always forgive me when I'm having mom tantrums, and I'll try to give you the same patience that you should be accorded.
One day, you asked, "When will my life change?" and I'm not sure you really understood what that question meant. You and me both, sweetheart. You're always excited to grow older, and taller, and to be able to do more things like your big sister. But there are also days when you want to be carried and pretend to be the baby. I wish I can keep it that way forever. That all you need is a hug from Mommy to be okay.
As much as we want everything around you to be perfect, and you can bet that Tatay and I will make sure you have the best life, the truth is life gets a little harder each time you get older. And when those challenging situations start to dampen your spirit, I'll tell you the things that I remember about you. I'll remind you of how strong and brave you are. I pray that I'll be there when the time comes that you need me to tell you these things. And I hope you don't cringe when you find out how sentimental your mother is.
All these things, I'll keep in my heart, because it is my job as your mother to be the keeper of everything about you, tangible and intangible, including your dreams, your fears, and your memories, to be imparted to you in the future.
But when you grow up, there's just one thing that I want you to remember: you have me. When things get hard, never forget that you have a family who believes in you and will always be there for you. Even when the time comes that you stop seeing me in rose-colored glasses, I hope you remember that Mommy loves you.
When you grow up, I'll remember how much you loved me and that will never fail to put a smile on my face.
I wanted to have moments like that with you, but sometimes I feel like you're too young to actually remember anything. Raising you though, made me realize that this phase we're in right now is different. It's me who wants to remember everything about you today. The things you say and how you make me so happy. And then when you grow up, I'll remember.
My darling, you're only four years old, but there's already so much I want to remember about you.
I'll remember your butt dance and your funny faces, and how you want to make everybody around you laugh. And after your great-grandpa died, you asked your Lola, "Do you miss your dad?" And when she said yes, you tried to console her. You said, "You'll see him in heaven, with Jesus." We laughed. When we talk about you, you always ask, "Are you talking about me?" And we laugh because you always find a way of making things lighter.
You have a way with people that always makes them feel better when you're around. You entertain them by talking to them, asking them questions or serving them pretend food. Every time I remember that about you, I always feel so proud.
Usually, parents are proud when their children achieve something in school, or in sports. You're a very smart, athletic and talented kid, but what makes me proudest is your personality. How you make everybody smile. One time, you asked Instagram if you're cute. And our followers gushed at how adorable you are. Sometimes I wish I can share your videos with the world, but that's another issue about protecting your privacy and preserving your childhood. And we have moments that are way too precious to be reduced to an IG story.
I'll fondly remember them so that when you grow up, I'll tell you. That even as a kid, you were so precious and kind. When the time comes that you doubt how good of a person you are, I'll tell you that you were the sweetest child on the planet.
Because you're such an easy child, I worry about you for the future. I wonder if more years on earth or adolescence will change you. I know I still have a decade to prepare for that, but I hope you remain to be the sweet, good-natured girl that I love.
But when the rebellion years begin and you start to find me annoying, I'll remember how you told me that when you're already a grown-up, we'll be the best of friends. When you want to move out or be as far away from me as possible, I'll remember how you promised to visit me all the time. When you start getting all those teenage angst and emotions, I'll remember how you always forgive me when I'm having mom tantrums, and I'll try to give you the same patience that you should be accorded.
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| Image by Sasin Tipchai from Pixabay |
As much as we want everything around you to be perfect, and you can bet that Tatay and I will make sure you have the best life, the truth is life gets a little harder each time you get older. And when those challenging situations start to dampen your spirit, I'll tell you the things that I remember about you. I'll remind you of how strong and brave you are. I pray that I'll be there when the time comes that you need me to tell you these things. And I hope you don't cringe when you find out how sentimental your mother is.
All these things, I'll keep in my heart, because it is my job as your mother to be the keeper of everything about you, tangible and intangible, including your dreams, your fears, and your memories, to be imparted to you in the future.
But when you grow up, there's just one thing that I want you to remember: you have me. When things get hard, never forget that you have a family who believes in you and will always be there for you. Even when the time comes that you stop seeing me in rose-colored glasses, I hope you remember that Mommy loves you.
When you grow up, I'll remember how much you loved me and that will never fail to put a smile on my face.
