What I learned from bringing my daughter to play school aka the "Idon't want to be that mother" post (Part 2)

Nash is slowly adjusting to the classroom setting. She is learning to interact with other kids and not 'hurt the boys' as she would always say. She's okay being left in the classroom with her teachers and classmates while I stay outside. 

I'm already so at home in Nashie's school and I feel like we're already getting the hang of this preschool thing, the routine. Our little Miss has already started making friends, and even her Mommy too. I'm so excited for my daughter. I'm excited for art classes and her playing with her classmates and field trips, all the fun stuff. Even shopping for school supplies. 

One day, I was folding my daughters' clothes and updating their wardrobe (sorting clothes that are either already too small and we can give away, or getting new ones from their big bag of unused clothes - mostly gifts, I do this every quarter), I looked at some of Nash's new clothes and admired them and visualized how great she would look in these, going to her classmate's birthday parties, performing in school, having play dates ...

Then I had to stop myself. Here I go again. I was turning into another kind of mother I didn't want to be. The mother who was too concerned with their kids' appearances and social calendar.

My kid entering preschool is really bringing out the stage mother in me.  My daughter has only been in play school for a little over a week, she hasn't even fully adjusted yet and here I am, already coordinating her outfits for when she gets asked to attend a birthday party.  No.  I cannot, for the life of me, be that mother.

There's really nothing wrong with dressing up your kids. It's cute, and for a mom of two girls like me, almost normal. It's my mindset that I have to keep in check. When we decided to have kids, my husband and I said we would be raising them to be simple, frugal and confident human beings. I don't want them to have this mindset where much of their time would revolve around thinking about what to wear for a party. I don't like them to be too conscious about their appearance.

Kids these days are different, being exposed to #ootd at such an early age. But I want my kids to be different in a way that they know better than equating  their worth on clothes or shoes. 

Again, really nothing wrong with dressing up. I needed to stress that because I myself love doing it. All those beautiful and shiny pink things. And it's easy to get caught up with all that frivolity. But I just had a wake up call about the message that I'm sending to my girls. As parents we need to be more mindful of that. Actions speak louder than words, as the cliche goes. With my actions, am I saying that they need to have nice clothes to be liked? Or am I saying that it's okay if they don't have new shoes just as long as they are kind to others? I always have to be reminded of that so  I don't lose sight of the big picture.

While I want my girls to grow up knowing the importance of proper hygiene and always looking neat and well-groomed, I want them to know that it's what's inside that counts.  I want them to be confident to go to a party wearing whatever it is that makes them comfortable.  We don't have to be that mother and daughter who shows up to every school activity each looking spotless and very well-coordinated.  Heck, we don't even have to show up if we don't want to (and need to). We just have to be kind and polite to everyone we know, and hope that they like us for who we are.

Nash is not going to turn up in school wearing only a sack anytime soon, but she needs to know that her attitude matters more than the clothes on her back. I'm not going to stop her if she wants to wear a tutu dress every day (she does, fyi), just as long as she's dressing up for own happiness and always bringing her true self in class.