Mommy Cams Project: Our DIY Doll house

Every now and then, I try to unleash my creative/crafty side with my kids. Last year, it was with Halloween costumes and Christmas presents for their friends. Although admittedly, I try not to do a lot of DIY stuff since I'd like to keep the mess to the minimum (as minimum as possible with three kids in tow). But this has got to be my biggest DIY project as a mom so far.

It all started when I saw a doll house online that my girls really wanted. For a brief moment, I tried to justify to myself why we should get it for them, but decided against it for three main reasons: First, it was super expensive! Even if I combine all the gift-giving holidays for this year and the coming year (their birthdays and Christmas), it's still not enough to convince myself that buying a $200 doll house was a good deal. Second, I don't feel like I can commit to having a three-foot toy inside our already cramped play area. It will take up too much space. Finally, what will my kids learn from getting a really expensive doll house, aside from realizing how entitled they are and that they can get anything they want without really working hard for it?

So I suggested that instead of buying, we can create our very own doll house (but like any clever mom, I made it seem like it was their idea) that was even nicer than the one we saw online because we could design it. They agreed that it was a good idea. My eldest was so happy about it, she wanted to start working on it right away!

We (I) decided to make the doll house out of old shoe boxes. I know a wooden one would've been more sturdy, but given my carpentry skills (or lack thereof), it would be so hard to do it without any help, and I honestly didn't want help on this one. I knew that I can only work on it during my free time, so having to rely on someone else to do the "wood works" would mean I have to consider someone else's time too. And again with the issue on storage space. I wanted something lightweight for the girls to carry, and something they can stack up when it's time to pack away.

The doll house was a real mother-daughter project. Nash was in-charge of looking for materials (she found all the shoe boxes), mostly stuff that we already had around the house. I also asked for her inputs with the design (the wallpapers to use, the beds, and the color scheme). She also reminded me every day to work on the project, while I did most of the "legwork." I enjoyed it though. It's been a while since I did something creative, and I liked the feeling of taking something so basic and watching it transform into something that resembled a real miniature home. Kawaii mostly watched us work and was constantly asking if it was already done, so she can start playing with it.

The project took a little over three weeks to be fully completed. Aside from the fact that I only worked on it when the baby is asleep or somebody else is holding him, or when I'm not working, I also had a lot of other side projects (Nash's small birthday parties, which also involved a lot of DIY-ing), made a lot of changes and kept on adding to the furniture. There were times when I felt like abandoning the project and just throwing all the boxes away, and giving in to a store-bought doll house. But I remembered that my daughters were also involved in it and I wanted them to see the glory of finishing something and seeing it through no matter how difficult it is. So I went on to do it, one furniture, one old box at a time.

So after a lot of time spent on Pinterest looking for inspiration, googling wallpapers and vectors, after a handful of printouts and stickers and several minor injuries (from using the glue gun) later, we were finally done with the doll house.

Okay, so it's not perfect. Some may even say it looks like an elementary school project. It's not as sophisticated or sturdy, and it's nothing compared to the rustic miniature houses you see on Pinterest, but it's fine the way it is.

How much did I spend on this project? Practically nothing. All the items we used were mostly things that were just lying around the house. Old shoe boxes, jewelry boxes, bottle caps, lids, scraps of cloth, and a lot of art materials that we already had. Probably the only expensive things in this project were the shoes that used to be in those boxes. I considered buying miniature furniture online, but having a minimal budget really had me stretching out my creativity.

So without further ado, let me give you a tour of the rooms in our DIY doll house.

Our chic living room. Thanks to Pinterest for the backgrounds. The chairs were made from old jewelry boxes, and used the pillows inside the jewelry boxes as well. Stools were made from plastic toy containers that I finally found some use for (I used to just throw them out).

Neon QT's neon kitchen. The inside of the box was already yellow, so I figured I should make the other furniture colorful too. Most of the cabinets were made from medicine boxes. We used some of the kids' old toys here as well. The sink was the container of the barbecue sauce from McDonald's, and the fridge (one of my favorite creations and one of the last one I made because I kept changing my mind about it) was made from a used lid of baby wipes. I had the lid for a long time already, knowing that I would be able to use it for something in the future.

The bedroom. Nash wanted bunk beds, and it turned out to be such a space saver. I had more room to put in a crib for the little sisters. It was my first time to make furniture out of popsicle sticks, so don't judge. I'm also quite proud of what I did on the mattresses and pillows (made from old scraps of cloth)

The owner wanted a gold bathroom, so here it is. I couldn't get a nice gold wallpaper printout for the tiles, so I just played with the other details. Our golden bathtub is an old soap dish, golden shampoo and bottle caps for the sink and mirror, and glittered foam paper. The toilet bowl, which I made using an old medicine box and the lid of a milk carton, is my favorite creation of all.  Cue Gwen Stefani's "Luxurious."

I loved playing with the details of this dressing room, making it look as girly and stylish as possible. I knew I needed to make a closet (with paper clips for hangers) for the clothes and a nice shelf to store all of the dolls' shoes (although they're nowhere to be found at the time of the pictorial so I just had a few on display). Also check out the vanity mirror and the black and white frames on the wall, with quotes from my favorite style icons and fashion designers. My daughter wants to be a fashion designer in the future so I knew I had to make this room extra fun for her to dress up her dolls in.

Bonus: a patio where the dolls can hang out and have some barbecue. We also made the table using popsicle sticks, and the picnic chairs from a container of some Japanese cookies we bought recently. We were eating out one time and their dessert had this umbrella in it, the girls decided to keep it so they can use it for the doll house. 

 

For a video tour of the dollhouse, check out my Facebook page, Mommy Cams to Write or my Instagram Stories as Camslab.

There are still a lot of things that I want to add (like I promised the girls some stairs and a swimming pool), but I figured I should let go and stop working on it (for now) so that the girls can start playing with it. That's the whole point of making it in the first place, so that they can have fun with it and their dolls.


I know there are some disadvantages to making a doll house out of shoe boxes. It's not sturdy enough for a lot of kids to play with. But even though I complain about them being rough and uncoordinated sometimes, my girls are actually very gentle with their toys. And they always tell me when they destroy or break something, so I can fix it immediately. So I think we'll be okay. 

Also, I have to admit, working on that project took a lot of my time. Like I skipped work for a few nights so that I could finally finish the doll house. Which is why it's important to set a deadline for a project like this. So that I could finally let go, decide that I'm done with it and focus on something else.

But I don't regret any time that I spent making it. Everything was worthwhile. I loved the look on my daughters' faces when they see something new on the doll house when they check on it every morning. And how they called it their doll house. Their mom made them a doll house. From scratch.

And when the time comes that they've grown tired of playing with it, or in the (hopefully not so near) future when they break it, whichever comes first, I hope my girls will remember an important lesson on creativity - that you can do anything as long as you work hard and use your imagination. And the value of being resourceful. Think twice before throwing something out. Most of the stuff you need are just within your reach.  Most importantly, I hope they remember all the fun we had making it together.

That said, I'm taking a break from all DIY projects for Halloween... Okay, maybe just a little customizing, but I already bought the costumes.  But I'm already excited for our next project lined up - Christmas gifts!

I want my kids to explore the outdoors, but I’m afraid (part 1 of 2)

When I first started dreaming of having kids with my husband, I pictured little boys and girls with insurmountable energy. Their skin tanned and their hair smelled of the sun and sweat as a result of our weekend road trips to the beach where they are so used to the water, “playing any sport imaginable,” as their Tatay would always say. 

Fast forward to five years later, I’ve got (a little boy and) two staycation queens who can stay glued to their gadgets, watching videos on YouTube for hours. They rarely play outside, which I think is the trend among middle class families here in the metro. They get quite fussy on car trips that last more than 30 minutes, (or over 3 miles) saying that it’s “quite far” and prefer to stay at home. 

While the thought that they’ve gotten so used to staying in hotels amuses me (they know the drill so well, they want to be hoteliers in the future), and I’m not even going to pretend that gadgets are 100% the enemy, but I just feel that they are not having the full life that they deserve. 

Don’t get me wrong, this post is not about me setting unrealistic expectations for my children. And my kids are not deprived. They are creative, imaginative and fun-loving girls. I just think they should be out there doing what they want, not watching it on the screen. Not to mention that being on the outdoors will help a lot in their health and well-being, and social skills as well. 

So what’s stopping my children from being the sporty, outdoorsy, natural athletes? The truth? It’s me. 

Yes, budget is a factor, but it’s not so much finances, as I believe money will always come. And we really want to invest on giving our kids happy memories and experiences more than material things. 

Also admittedly, making time and making an effort to go out can be an issue. Moms know how much planning and packing it entails for just a day tour out of the city. Getting the kids ready to leave the house is a whole production in and of itself. Yet, if there’s somebody who can get a seemingly impossible task done, it’s us moms. 

So what really keeps me from saying yes? Fear. 

So I try as much as possible to keep them indoors. As my way of protecting them and keeping them safe.  But lately I realized, the element of danger is always there. It can be  at the beach, in a faraway province, inside a mall, in our own villages, in our own homes, even. For no matter how I try to babyproof/toddler proof at home, most of my kids’ accidents happened inside the house. 

Yes, I’m afraid that something might happen to my kids. Their safety and well-being is of the highest importance to me. But should I let my fear stop me from letting my kids experience the joy of being outdoors? Of trying new things and finding out they can excel in that? I don’t want them growing up living in fear, afraid to try new things because I told them it’s dangerous. 

I remember when our parents got us rollerblades. Our grandmother wasn’t happy with it because we might get into an accident using them. Somehow, she was right. We crashed and fell, got bruises and skinned our knees, but boy, we felt so happy cruising on our street, testing our balancing skills in those rollerblades. 

I think I was 12 years old when I first learned to commute on my own. But I wasn’t that scared, because I have been riding on jeepneys and tricycles for as long as I can remember. I realized later on that commuting wasn’t much fun, but I’d like to think it gave me some street smarts to balance my book smart.

So maybe the fear will always be there. It’s basic human instinct that helps us identify threats and push us to survive. But I realized that I have to take the reins and control that fear and be a little brave, so my children can live a fuller life. 

You know that meme about parents telling their kids, “You can do anything.” Then as soon as they see their kids do something that might get them in trouble, they go, “Don’t do that!” That’s me most of the time. But I don’t want to be that mom for long. 

I want them to learn to surf, to dive, to climb trees and mountains, to explore caves, to own a pet, excel in a sport, join a team, feel a passion for Mother Nature, things that I wasn’t able to do. But for them to do that, first I need to let go of some of the fear, so that I can hold their hand as I guide them towards the path of adventure. 

(Cue musical scoring from Disney Pixar’s Up. Haha)

I know, easier said (or written) than done. So on my next post, I will write about some ways for me and other parents to let go of the fear and be an enabler for their kids to explore “what’s out there.” If you have any tips for me, please feel free to leave a comment or write to me at mommycamstowrite@gmail.com

The inconvenient truth about being a stay-at-home mom

So here I am again.  A sleep-deprived, exhausted, but still happy, now mom of three. 

I thought that because I am on maternity leave (that I imposed on myself as a work at home mom), I would have a lot of time to write and blog. But who was I kidding? 

Because now, my day revolves around (in no particular order) breastfeeding baby number three, waking up in the middle of the night to do nappy change, taking care of the girls,  making sure they are bathed or at least fed, getting them ready for their summer activities (which I thought would give me more free time but no), restoring order to our space several times a day, and helping my post-partum body recover (have I told you that giving birth to my son literally had me “shookt?” I’ll write about my birthing story another time).

So my hands are always full. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t get any support. I’m blessed to have a husband who doesn’t complain when I wake him up during the wee hours to change our newborn’s diaper. And our families have been great. We have an awesome support system who cooks for us and looks after the girls as much as they can. But I guess being Mama Bear means wanting to do most, if not everything for them. 

Photo by Tanaphong Toochinda on Unsplash

One of my friends asked me how I was doing being a stay at home mother of three. Of course, I opted to answer in a humorous fashion. I don’t know, but there’s something funny about a mom who's all over the place. That’s why movies like Bad Moms were such a hit. I also thought about doing a vlog with the use of Instagram Stories to show what I do the whole day, but I reckoned no one would want to watch a video of me in my pjs, with breastmilk leaking on my shirt while endlessly yelling at my kids to fix their toys or stop jumping on the couch. But I couldn't bear to tell my friend, a new mom, the whole truth.

So here's the truth. Or rather, some truths. 

The truth is being a stay-at-home mom is exhausting. Looking after each child with different needs, and having an endless list of things to do around the house can wear a momma out.  You may see that I do a lot of sitting, but not without an infant in my arms, latching endlessly on my breasts. And whenever I put him down, I squeeze in a chance to check on his Ates, fix their hair and cater to their needs until the baby demands my undivided attention again.  

From the moment I wake up, my mind is already preoccupied. Even when I'm physically tending to one kid, I'm thinking of the other two ...

Because another ugly truth is that it makes me feel guilty. Guilty that I'm neglecting at least one of my children. I've snapped at my eldest a few times for not being able to do things on her own. It makes me feel bad that I can't always attend to her, so I'm rushing her to become more independent. I'm guilty of using the iPad to entertain my girls when I can't play with them because their brother needs me. I'm also guilty of being so easily agitated. At times I snap at my husband for, can you believe it, sleeping. Even though I know he has to go to work in the morning and is doing his best to (stay awake and) help out.

But despite being sleep-deprived, exhausted and an emotional mess, the inconvenient truth about being a stay-at-home mom is that I wouldn't trade this job for anything else. 

An excerpt from Bunmi Laditan's Confessions of a Domestic Failure.

Taking care of a newborn, a potty training toddler, and a sensitive preschooler all at the same time is hard. All the mess, the breastfeeding struggles and never ending to-do list can drain all your energy, and you're already running on a few hours of sleep. It's overwhelming, but the truth is I've never felt more productive.

And to be so present in this specific time of their lives; breastfeeding my baby in the wee hours of the night, knowing that he won't need me as much as he does now. Listening to my three-year old make up songs and entertain me with her natural sense of humor, and engaging in more meaningful conversations with my firstborn, watching her own unique personality unfold right before my eyes. These are priceless moments I want all to myself.

I think this is what my older mom friends mean when they tell me to enjoy this time when my children are still young. When their world revolve around me, and my life around them. Borrowing the words of author Bunmi Laditan who wrote the amusing novel Confessions of a Domestic Failure, when I'm with them, I feel smothered. And when I'm not with them, I feel incomplete. Like a piece of me is missing. 

That's the truth. As stay-at-home moms, we complain about how hard our life is. But when people around us say, "If you hate it so much, why don't you get a job?" We say no. Because nobody can do this job (being our kids' mother) better than us, and really, the ultimate reason is just that we love what we do. 

So cheers to us, stay-at-home moms! 

P.S. Another truth is that the distinction among mothers (working moms, stay-at-home moms, work-at-home moms) is only physical. Because in our hearts, we all just want the same thing- what's best for our children. And that makes us all amazing. Happy Mothers' Day to us!

My Big 3

Playing Pretend Mommy

Okay, so this is a random post.

This is the beauty in writing. When inspiration hits you just in the middle of the mundane.

Yesterday, out of boredom and due to a shortage of toys on her reach (the gadgets were also unavailable), my three-year old daughter decided she wanted to play a different game with me.  She wanted to pretend to be Mommy, while I pretend to be her. And so we did. She did me for a full 30 minutes or more. And this is probably something that maybe most of us moms are used to, we had our own share of bahay-bahayan role playing when we were girls, but I noticed that she was ON POINT the whole time! She was doing a very close impression of me.

She nailed it from the beginning. From the part where I feed her breakfast, whenever I would put a bowl of Froot Loops, Milo Balls and milk in front of her, or if we were having her favorite, rice and longganisa, in which case I have to feed her.

She also took out a pretend laptop and placed it in front of her, and whenever I, the pretend baby, wanted to meddle with her keyboard, she would raise her hand and say, "No baby, I'm almost done working." And she typed away on her pretend laptop (with much gusto, if I may add), and afterwards when I persisted, she would say, "You want to sit on my lap, baby?"

I tried to be mean and imitated her when she would have one of her crying fits with her older sister (of course, Ate didn't want to join our game and said she only wanted her real mommy).  I was kind of expecting her to retort in a mean way, but instead she said, "You're not an x baby, you're beautiful."

Pretend Mommy and Pretend Baby went on to go to the cinema. "Jumanji" was the last film we watched. She pretended to feed me popcorn, and when it came to the scary parts, Pretend Mommy hugged me and offered me her dede, as a way to comfort me.

There were so many other parts of our "skit" where I was so amazed at how she "did me" so perfectly. But my favorite would probably be the part where it was already night time. She tucked me in, made sure the blanket covered my feet, and taught me the words to our bedtime prayer. She memorized it, up to the pauses and the intonation. Afterwards, she said I love you and kissed me like a dozen times. Pretend Mommy liked to kiss her baby a lot.

Again, role playing like this is nothing new, especially to hands-on parents like me, but I just never realized how much my daughters knew me. We only usually focus on it being the other way around, us knowing our kids all too well. But this little girl copied me like she had been studying me for years.  It was way amusing, and really, extremely touching.

I know I shouldn't take all the credit for that beautiful and dare I say great display of affection (as they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery), because we get a lot of help from our families in raising our kids and the girls are just really clever on their own.  But it is a nice reminder for me, when I have those difficult moments of self-pity, wondering if I gave up too soon on a promising career, if I am being a positive role model to the kids, and if I'm doing something right in the world, that indeed, I am. In a really special way, what I am doing matters to somebody.

And I could only be grateful that that my daughters still see me in rose-colored glasses.  That my little girl's portrayal of her mother wasn't focused on me pushing them to fix their toys, getting mad at them for playing near the stairs, or me fixated on my phone. Although they still see me as the one "in-charge," I'm glad they think of me as the one who takes care of them, offering kind words and my milk when they need comfort. I know that won't always be the case, but for now I'll take it.

She wanted to "be Mommy," for a little while longer. But I said we should turn back to our real selves.  She hesitated for a while, but eventually agreed. I have to admit, it was fun while it lasted but I wanted to be the mother again. Because even though being on the receiving end of my playmate's love and kisses felt really good, I realized there is no greater role for me than being those girls' Mommy.