Defining Your Family's New Normal

 Day 23 of the Enhanced Community Quarantine. And it seems like we're not seeing the end of the tunnel yet.

By now, we’re all already used to being at home the whole day (I’ve been used to it for a while, being a stay-at-home mom) and the novelty of it has probably worn out. Same goes for our kids. They have probably adjusted to their new schedule and to the routine we’ve established for them during this period.

For me, a mom to little kids (from toddler to school-age), this whole lockdown was quite a curveball. Some of you parents may agree. Just when we thought we got parenting figured out, this happens. And again we’re at a loss on what to do. Do we parent in panic mode and traumatize our children for the rest of their lives? Do we try to be normal and attempt to imitate the classroom setting, to ensure our children’s learning continues, since the school year wasn’t actually finished? Do we try homeschooling, unschooling and all those fancy parenting styles we read on the internet?

We’re again faced with the decision and responsibility of explaining the gravity of the situation to our children without instilling (or transferring our) fear. 

Such is parenting in the time of Corona. Our days are filled with anxiety and uncertainty. Going to the supermarket, a task we’ve mastered before now seems like a dangerous chore. We worry about our family, our community as the number of COVID cases rises every day. Yet we still try to spark hope and reach out to our frontliners, and teach our children to do the same. All of these while sounding like a broken record reminding everyone in our household to wash their hands.

And whether we like it or not, what is happening right now will affect our children’s lives in the future.   

Here comes the "silver lining:" We are now given the chance (and for some, the extra time) to change our children’s future. Being at home and being around us mean we can teach them things first hand. We can be available to them, to answer their questions and spark their curiosity. 

Photo by Christopher Ivanov on Unsplash

So if this is the new normal, and we’re building this new way of life for our kids, what attitude and beliefs would you like to be part of it? 

Personally, these are the things that I do NOT want my kids to consider as normal:

• Social distancing and quarantine. Or the lack of freedom. I want to go to the supermarket without having to wear a spacesuit, and worrying if the can of pork and beans I touched will make me sick. I want to be able to meet up with my friends and give my niece a hug. I want my kids to be able to play in the park again and go to the beach.
• Being paranoid with the people around me. I know I’m a “praning mom” and I’ve always warned my children about stranger danger, but I still don’t want them to live in a world where they are always anxious and suspicious. I want them to be carefree and trusting and see the good in people, instead of always looking for warning signs for anyone they meet.
• Hoarding. And people being selfish just because they can. Kids should know that there are plenty of blessings to go around. They should not keep taking just because they have the means, while others are left with nothing.

And if they aren’t yet, these SHOULD be part of the new normal:

• Practicing proper hygiene. Constant hand washing, taking a bath after coming from a public place.
• Praying together as a family. Praying for those who are not part of your social circle.
• Being a good citizen and following the law.
• Being mindful and considerate of others. People now know the importance of staying home when you’re sick, and not touching babies and old people.
• Respect for personal space. Maintaining a safe distance doesn’t mean you’re being a snob or “maselan.” It means you just want yourself and others to feel comfortable.
• Compassion for others. Sending out thank you notes to your doctor, get well soon cards and food to sick people should always be a part of the norm.
• Respect for those who make life easier for us. Not just our doctors and nurses, but also the supermarket attendants, delivery guys, cleaners and street sweepers.
• Respect for teachers. Okay, so it seems homeschooling is not for everyone. We should really honor the teachers for their dedication and the PATIENCE they have for our children. After this pandemic, we should all agree to give them higher pay and better working conditions.
• Respect for those who stay at home. If you’re reading this and you’re fed and safe (and without children constantly distracting you), thank your mom. Or your wife. Our work is REAL and running a tight ship isn’t easy. Now you know why we need a break, even if we “just stay at home.”
• Freedom of speech. I’m not the type to be political, but as Princess Jasmine sang, “I won’t be silenced.” If you raised your kids right, then you shouldn’t be afraid if they want to use their voice. Having a different opinion or questioning their leaders doesn’t make them ungrateful or unpatriotic.  So pay attention to your children. Raise them well so they only know how to speak the truth and they have the integrity to back their words with actions

Photo by Andrew Seaman on Unsplash

Some say we will never go back to the way it was before; we shouldn’t. 

And what we do today as parents, as citizens, as human beings will create a new normal for our children. So we should do our best to make sure we won’t have to say sorry to them in the future.

May we all emerge wiser, stronger and kinder after this pandemic.