Motherhood Without Filters: What My Kids Did Last Summer

Hey fellow moms! Inspired by the latest novel that I read, My Not So Perfect Life by Sophie Kinsella, I am starting a series of blog posts called Motherhood Without Filters. It's just me sharing my raw and authentic take on some parts of being a mom that are usually being augmented in social media. 

What did your kids do last summer? (Or what are your kids doing this summer?)

That's a question that moms like to ask each other in play groups or a social setting.  It's as if we're all expected to have some sort of epic plan for our kids for the vacation season to be considered good parents.

Looking at my Facebook and Instagram feeds, I noticed that two things monopolize moms' social media posts during this period - a summer getaway (in Pinoy speak, outing) and enrolling in summer workshops. It's like these two belong to an imaginary checklist that moms subject themselves to, to prove that their kids had a productive time away from school. 

Let's talk about the summer getaways. I think all parents want their kids to be well-traveled. We cannot argue with the benefits that traveling has for our little one's holistic growth, and the most convenient time to bring them to different places would probably be during summer, when they won't have to worry about missing school. But what if we don't have that much time to plan or don't have enough resources for an out of town trip?

Hubby and I wanted to bring our daughters to Hong Kong Disneyland this month, but we decided against it for financial and practical reasons. I was starting to sulk inside and feel sorry for my kids for missing the opportunity to see their favorite princesses again, but then I read a blog in Huffington Post entitled, "We Have FOMO For Our Children and It Needs to Stop," and I was somehow reminded of our priorities as parents.

"If you want to go on fancy vacations and you can afford it, then do it. It’ll be fun. But please don’t feel like your kid is missing out. There is no official list of things they must do or see in order to have a good childhood," the author said.

"But we don’t have to try to pack an entire lifetime of experiences into 18 years. Our job, our real job, is to make our kids feel safe and loved. That’s it." 

Collecting flowers in the garden.

So rather than stressing ourselves out, trying to find a way for the HK trip to be a go, we agreed not to push through with it and instead save up for a family vacation in December. In the meantime, we brought the girls to the village playground and they enjoyed it. Our eldest adopted a little kitten with her older cousin  and the our youngest showed prowess by going up and down the slide on her own. They were already happy with simple things like that.

Also, as much as I adore those Instagram photos of kids in their cute baby-kinis and giant inflatables, the truth is that my youngest daughter hates swimming. She squirmed for the whole two minutes she was in the pool when we had a quick staycation in early April, so none of those swimming photos of Kawaii on my feed.

Another fun activity that we did - we gave them a bath outside.  Using only a garden hose, a plastic bath tub and a big enough planggana, the girls had a lot of fun splashing about.

Then you have the summer workshops. Ballet, dance, taekwondo, voice lessons, there's actually a lot to choose from nowadays. Even archery and Ninja Academy. I can see why moms spend a good amount of money for these lessons. Anything to help our little ones achieve their fullest potential. In fact, it's actually a very good way to make sure our kids are being productive and also developing their talents and interpersonal skills.

I was pregnant with my eldest when I read Amy Chua's book, "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother." From then on, I promised that my child would have all the resources she needs to thrive in life. That includes different kinds of extracurricular activities and lessons every summer. We planned to sign her up for ballet a few months ago, but that didn't quite work out (location, schedule, budget, and we didn't want her two year old sister to feel left out). Maybe next year.

So, no summer workshops. But that doesn't mean we spent all our days wandering aimlessly at home. In fact, we did all sorts of fun (and cheap) activities.

As much as I wanted to teach my girls how to bake, the kitchen was a mess (we're renovating) and the weather was probably telling me to stay away from the oven for now. Instead, we made some frozen desserts using their favorite ingredients that are already in the pantry.

So excited for her popsicles.

Enjoying her corn and cheese popsicle. Recipe here.

Two-step frozen yogurt popsicles.

 Speaking of available ...

We bought Nash a toy scooter last year but she didn't really express much interest in learning how to ride it. It was just sitting in the room, gathering dust, until maybe last month when she told us that she wanted to practice riding on her scooter. And she did. She gives it a go a few times a day and now she already knows how to ride it.  We didn't even need to buy her expensive new instruments or sports gear for her to learn something new.

I wasn't able to enroll Nash to a dance workshop, but since March, she's been busting her moves in front of the TV while watching zumba videos on Youtube. It's amazing how she improves every week. Does that count as being self-taught? One day, her Lola invited a dance instructor to come to the house to teach her some dance steps. Nash wasn't interested and said, "My family can teach me how to dance."

I'm not saying that having a plan like going on an out of town trip or enrolling your kids to summer workshop isn't a good idea. It's just that if you don't have the means for it, there are alternatives to those activities. And if you fear that your kids missed out on a good summer experience because they didn't go somewhere exotic (or even Kidzania) or did not participate in any recital the past two months, stop. They will be okay. There is no checklist.

"Not all of the experiences that develop your child’s character can be found on a list of 101 Amazing Things Your Kids Must Do Before They Grow Up. Maybe the things that end up shaping your kids’ lives will be cheaper, closer to home, and in a word, ordinary." said the author of the blog I mentioned above.

Summer is almost over for us Pinay moms. School season starts in a few weeks. Let's make the most of it and create memories with the little ones.