A Letter to My Grownup Kids

By now, we're already entrenched in all the Father's Day spirit going around. Well, our dads deserve all the love and recognition. 

But for me and my siblings, being proud of our Papa is an everyday thing. It's hard not to be, when you're raised by such a great man.

So for the last installment of my Dads Speak Up series, it is with great pride that I share this Dad's - my Papa's letter to his grown-up kids. 

My dear Labkids,

I am so thrilled that you are proud of me. That is every parent’s wish.

I always recall the days when we would only buy your shoes and clothes from the tiangge because I couldn’t afford the original ones. We did not have the money but you did not lack in taste. You chose the good-looking ones. It is amazing that three boys grew up to be good basketball players despite the ill-fitting imitation rubber shoes.

I love thinking of the days when I could only buy you decent toys when I came from a foreign business trip. They were few and far in between that’s why you cared for them with so much affection because you knew they were all hard-earned. I remember you had only 2 or 3 real Barbie Dolls while the rest were Divisoria posers. 

I remember the afternoon Kaye went up to me because her toy was broken. The look on her face showed how she trusted that I could fix it. My heart broke into a million pieces because I couldn’t make it work. And couldn’t even buy a new one.

Camille, I remember your delighted face when I gave you that puppet theater. I’m sorry the boys turned it into a pellet gun shooting gallery!

I always wondered how you felt as “children of a lesser god."  Did you resent me for that ? Did you wish your Papa had a little more money then ?

I didn’t really feel that you wished you were born in another place at another time to another set of parents.

We were happy when we played touch ball in the street or when we went to the public parks. I have home videos to prove we were a joyful family as you climbed the monkey bars, rocked the swing and rode on your low-end skateboards.

We all proved to ourselves that happy doesn’t always need money. Love beats money any day.

I think that’s a good lesson to learn now that you have the ability to earn your money.

Have some respect for money. You need to earn a good amount of it because it’s so hard to focus on your work if you worry about rent, food, clothes, medicines. Earn as much as you can because it’s not a bad thing to have abundance in life. But it should not be the measure of success. 

What should it be then? Achievement? Fame? Popularity? A permanent place in history? A house on the beach?

To all these questions, the answers are yes and no. These are all worthy pursuits but you should not be under pressure to chase them just because you want to impress your high school classmates or because somebody said they are the yardsticks of success.

All I’m saying is that you decide for yourself what will make you feel fulfilled and happy. You define your success. You know what? The biggest regret of people is not having lived the life they had really wanted. 

I have lived for more than fifty years. Some of my dreams have been fulfilled, some have dissipated. I have won many games and I have lost many battles. I have learned from so many experiences, people and books and now this is what I believe in: 

People are happier when they dedicate their lives to a good purpose and when their work makes a positive difference in people’s lives. 

 To be able to serve a good purpose, you must be equipped with a certain talent, something that you contribute to the world. (not necessarily the whole world. That may be too big a thing to cover.) Sometimes, those talents are called “gifts’ from God. You have to give them back to God by serving His people.

 So, you might remember what your Mama and I consistently told you in numerous retreat letters: develop your talents, be the best that you can be.

 Mama and I are grateful that you have all have developed your creative talents. Some of you may one day be the screenwriter or movie director that I did not become. (If we had the genes for math and chemistry, some of you should have become an engineer or a doctor. )

Now, let me take this opportunity to expound on becoming “the best that you can be.” We don’t just mean becoming the best writer, or digital expert, or artist. It’s about becoming “the best person” that you can be. In my book, that means becoming a kind, caring, honest, fair and brave person. 

Go as far as your talent can take you or as far as you want to go. But keep in mind there’s no gain in pushing yourself to the top if your children will end up not loving you or if you will cheat, rob and oppress people or even just irritate them with your conceit and all-knowing IQ.

I can see how you are all turning out to be persons your children can be proud of. Yes, that’s it! I believe every person’s goal is to live a life that can make their children proud of them. 

Go, have many children, and make them proud of you. 

Love, 

Papa

P.S.  Always be a well-mannered person on social media.

photo by Oakst Studios

Robert Labayen is an advertising and media executive, painter, songwriter, and a cool Papa to five kids age 25 and up (including me). To read more of his inspiring articles, visit www.robertlabayen.com